Editor’s note: The following is a continuing journal of a fictional college student. It is intended to be a humorous and enjoyable feature about an average Joe. Though written by Iowa State’s own Scott Jacobson, a Daily staff writer, people, places and events detailed below are not analogous to a real student.

November 20, 1998

So there I was, waking up Wednesday morning after hitting snooze on each of my alarm clocks for over an hour when I took a drink of orange juice and felt my throat constrict around my liquid breakfast.

I tried another sip, and the pain returned as I tried to swallow.

My throat felt like I had spent the previous night enjoying an all-you-can-eat buffet of loose gravel, razor blades and broken shards of glass washed down with salt water and Tabasco sauce.

It wasn’t a happy feeling.

Without fail, I can sustain 11 months and three weeks of healthy living, but as soon as vacation approaches, God strikes me down in my tracks with a plague that has haunted man since the beginning of time — the common cold.

Of course, this newfound ailment hasn’t helped me in my self-motivation as I try to finish three projects before Thanksgiving break while trying to balance a social life with paying the bills.

Maybe that’s why I’m a bit rundown.

Five part-time jobs, four peer-pressuring roommates, three major projects, two straight all-nighters and a girlfriend I never get to see.

I think this was a defining stage of our young relationship. It’s that whole “in sickness and in health” thing that married couples have to worry about.

For example, if she tells me to stop whining and get over it, it’s a bad sign. But if she bakes me banana bread and tells me to stay in bed all day, then she’s a keeper.

It’s kinda like in “Saved By The Bell,” how the gang supports each other whenever one of them is feeling under the weather.

When Jessie was too stressed out because she had to find time to study while trying to get a record deal with Lisa and Kelly, Zach and Slater stepped in and told her to stop taking drugs.

Now that’s friendship.

Then there was the time when Zach broke his leg and dreamed that he had died due to complications in the surgery. When he woke up, not only was he still alive, but all of his friends were there and had signed the cast on his already recovering limb. Then Zach knew there was really nothing to worry about.

And no true fan of daytime comedy can forget the episode when Casey Kasem was hosting a dance contest at the Max after school one day, and Lisa sprained her ankle before she could compete.

Well, instead of letting Lisa be depressed, Screech improvised and made up a dance that they both could do. In the end, Screech and Lisa won the contest, and Casey invited everyone to join them in doing “The Sprain.” Get it? Her ankle was sprained, so the dance was called “The Sprain.” Damn, that’s funny.

When it became clear that my roommates weren’t feeling much sympathy for me, and my banana bread hadn’t arrived yet, I decided there was only one place left to look for help.

So there I was, spelling out the horrors of my deteriorating condition in painstaking detail while making appropriate plans for what should be done when I’m gone, when Mom simply said, “Chicken noodle soup.”

When I asked her if I should just go to the store and buy a couple cans of Campbell’s, she damn near reached through the telephone to wring my neck as she spouted off her foolproof list of ingredients that would join forces to cure my cold.

I didn’t have any paper to write the items down, but from what I could remember once I got to the store, she had included everything from a dozen whole chickens to vegetables that may or may not be illegal in the States.

I improvised and loaded up my cart with several chicken breasts, a couple kegs of chicken broth, some much-bigger-than-ramen noodles, a few potatoes, some spices I can’t pronounce and an extra big box of Lucky Charms. Hey, you can’t have soup for every meal.

I got home, cooked the chicken, threw everything in a pot, waited an hour and scooped some into a bowl.

To be completely honest, it wasn’t that bad. In fact, I impressed myself with my culinary skills. Granted, I’m not going to be going into business anytime soon, but it was edible, and it should make me feel better.

Now I’m just waiting for some banana bread.