I’m a septic rabbi and I’m eating fish and chips

Sara Ziegler

You’ve got to hand it to professors. Just when you think you really like them, they assign 15-page, double-spaced research papers that need at least 12 primary and secondary sources and are due right before Thanksgiving break when you’re already so stressed out you can’t take much more.

Luckily for me and my psyche, you can use sources from the Internet.

So the other day while I was surfing the Web, under the guise of searching for sources for my media law paper, I came across a mondegreen page.

A mondegreen is a misheard song lyric. According to the Web page of some girl named Jessica (http://www. enteract.com/~jessicar/lyrics/), the word “mondegreen” was thought up by a columnist in the 1950s named Sylvia Wright. She heard a song called “The Bonny Earl of Morray,” and misheard the lyric “laid him on the green” as “Lady Mondegreen.”

I happen to have the same problem as both Jessica and Sylvia. I mishear lyrics all the time. I either just sing what I think the lyric sounds like, or I just sort muffle my voice and sing some random vowel sounds.

But I love it when other people mishear lyrics, too — especially the same lyrics I mishear.

On Jessica’s mondegreen site, she has listed some of the most misheard song lyrics, like Jimi Hendrix’s “Purple Haze” (“‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy”) and Credence Clearwater Revival’s “Bad Moon Rising” (“There’s a bathroom on the right”).

There are other, more obscure mondegreens, too, like the Beatles’ “Ticket to Ride” (“She’s got a tick in her eye”) and Pearl Jam’s “Nothing Man” (“Muffin Man”).

I learned all kinds of correct lyrics from songs I’ve been improvising to for years.

There’s one lyric that my dad and I have been discussing since it came out. In the song “The Heart of Rock and Roll” by Huey Lewis and the News, one lyric right before the chorus is completely incoherent.

We knew it couldn’t be right, but we really thought the lyric sounded like either “Now, the oboe may be barely breathing” or “The elbow may be barely breathing.”

I was happy to finally find out it’s “Now, the old boy may be barely breathin’, but the heart of rock and roll, the heart of rock and roll is still beating.”

And do you remember that cheesy “Jessie” song a few years ago, by Joshua Kadison? I could’ve sworn the lyric was “We could go to Mexico Youth Academy.”

I guess “We could go to Mexico — you, the cat, and me” does make more sense, but it really sounds more like the first one.

Then there’s the song “Angeline,” by The Badlees. I’ve always thought it was something like, “Greased landing in dignity.” (I also thought it was “Greased lightning,” like in the movie “Grease.”)

The actual lyric? “Resplendent in dignity, Angeline is coming home.” Whatever. It really does sound like “greased landing.”

You know the Enya song, “Orinoco Flow?” It’s the song in those Crystal Light commercials. Anyway, the real chorus is “sail away, sail away, sail away.” Someone thought it was, “save the whales, save the whales, save the whales.”

Then there’s the Dave Matthew’s Band song “Crash.” I didn’t think the lyric was so hard to understand, but my friend Mark did.

He thought “Hike up your skirt a little more” was actually “Hike up your skirt, little boy,” which gives the song a whole different meaning.

Other funny mondegreens:

“Dust in the wind,” Kansas — “All we are is ducks in the wind.”

“All over you,” Live — “Our love is like Walter.” (“Water,” not Walter.)

“Human nature,” Madonna — “It’s you and me, Chuck.” (Actually, “It’s human nature.”)

“Redemption song,” Bob Marley — “I’m a septic rabbi and I’m eating fish and chips.” (Oh, my gosh. “Pirates, yes they rob I, and sold I to the merchant ships.” Septic rabbi?)

“Down in it,” Nine Inch Nails — “I was on the Muppets.” (Somehow, I don’t see Trent Reznor singing about Kermit the Frog. “I was up above it.”)

“Every breath you take,” The Police — “These cows you see, they belong to me.” (“Oh, can’t you see? You belong to me.”)

“Another one bites the dust,” Queen — “Another one buys a Datsun.”

“I wanna be sedated,” The Ramones — “I want a piece of bacon.”

Then there’s my absolute favorite misheard song lyric. My dad, my little sister and I were in the car, and “Little Miss Can’t-Be-Wrong,” by the Spin Doctors, came on the radio.

I could have died laughing when it came to the chorus and my sister belted out “Little Miss Pepperoni!”

So check out the Web site.

It’s a nice break from 15-page papers.


Sara Ziegler is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Sioux Falls, S.D. She is managing editor of the Daily.