The ballots have been counted, the candidates have spoken, the people have either rejoiced or given their yawns of disinterest, but the nation’s collective jaw is still dragging on the floor a week after Election Day.

Why has the nation finally forgotten about a certain stain and the ramifications of not doing laundry when you’re screwing the president?

Well, candidates all across the country pulled off the impossible. If you’ve been a good boy or girl and didn’t vote and don’t care, here is an update of what happened on Nov. 3 besides that Digital Underground show you all liked a lot more than I did.

Iowa has its first Democratic governor in 30 years. There’s a Democratic governor in a far-off and far-behind place like Alabama.

And the shocker of the century to those aged pundits is the fact that Reform Party candidate Jesse “The Body” Ventura has won the governor’s seat of that frigid collection of lakes more commonly known as Minnesota.

“Viva Ventura!” I cried. Since Watergate, candidates for everything from the president to the local dogcatcher have been jawing about taking politics “back to the people.” Yeah. Right.

Politicians have gotten to the point where their people have held up their hands in disgust and given up ever having a ruler who doesn’t make some dumb-assed mistake or completely contradict the laundry list of promises he made during his courtship with the voters.

It is the understatement of the century that Ventura has changed the perceptions of Minnesotans and their politics. Just because he’s governor, he won’t stop acting in B-movies, he won’t end his KFAN radio show, and I’m sure he won’t stop wrestling.

Still, many of those ancient political pundits and their common counterparts are decrying the Ventura election.

A common cut on him that I’ve heard is, “He was so sure he didn’t have a chance of winning, he has no idea what to do now.”

If he doesn’t, so what? Is he going to be running our neighbor to the north by himself? I don’t think so. No politician has ever been given free rein of a country, state or municipality, even back in the days of our forefathers.

That’s why the Constitution was written, so politicians and the people could help each other, share ideas and avoid the dictatorships that we wanted to get away from. I thought America would know what happens if we leave some punk to his own devices.

Another problem the mainstream has with Ventura is that he doesn’t have a lot of experience in politics beyond his time spent in a mayor’s office from 1991 to 1995.

It’s true, Ventura hasn’t exhibited a lot of career stability throughout his life, going from being a Navy SEAL to B-movie actor to color commentator for football games.

He hasn’t graduated from college. In fact, he had only spent some time at North Hennipin Community College. You don’t hear of many politicians without a degree from a prestigious four-year institution these days.

As fellow Minnesotan Garrison Keillor suggested in his Time essay, “Minnesota’s Excellent Ventura,” maybe these politicians had learned the wrong things while serving their time at those prestigious universities. Keillor said, “Both of them had that tendency common to career politicians of putting their mouths into gear with their minds only partly engaged.”

My wager is that Jesse didn’t talk down to the people unlike his brethren. The obvious effect of this is that people voted for Ventura. Minnesota had the highest voter turnout of any state in the union. So many people turned out to vote in Todd County, Minn., that the ballots supplied to the county ran out and had to be photocopied.

Why are those people who were decrying voter apathy a few weeks ago shaking their heads at Minnesota and their stupidity? How inane is that?

In the long run, only time will tell how successful Gov. Ventura will be in Minnesota, especially with a Republican house and a Democratic Senate.

But remember this: If we keep ragging on Gov. Ventura, he’ll be ready, willing and able to open up that proverbial can of whoopass.

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Tori Rosin is a sophomore in journalism and mass communication from Portage, Wis.