For students pursuing relationships, considering whether to live together before getting married is an important decision.

Many factors influence the choice, from financial concerns to family and religious values.

Craig Groehn, licensed therapist at the Hope Clinic, 315 6th St. Suite 100, said between 35 to 40 percent of the couples he works with live together before getting married.

“I think many people live together because of fearfulness about making commitments to a relationship they’re uncertain about,” Groehn said. “[Cohabiting is] how they can maintain independence and at the same time have the advantages of the relationship.”

Groehn said there is no one correct choice for every relationship.

“The disadvantage [of cohabitation] is that people can enter into the process of being partners but not be clear about commitment to each other and to themselves,” Groehn said. “[People] can become prematurely hopeless when learning about relationships.”

Groehn said the advantage of cohabitation is that people do get to try out the relationship and see how they will manage financial, sexual and emotional issues.

“They also have a chance to disengage if it’s not meeting their needs,” he said.

One person who decided to try cohabitation is Kelly Kohles, senior in psychology.

Kohles has been living with her boyfriend since the beginning of the semester. She said many factors influenced her decision.

“I was tired of dorm life, and it seemed silly to have separate places,” Kohles said. “I’m so busy I’d never see him otherwise.”

For Kohles, living with her boyfriend has been a good experience.

“It’s nice because I do get to see him,” Kohles said. “It’s nice not sleeping alone; I like the companionship. When you go over to someone’s place you feel you have to entertain them; when you live together you can be doing your own thing but still be together,” she said.

There are a lot of things for a couple to think about before moving in together, Kohles said.

“When couples decide [to live together], they should work out how things will work money-wise, grocery-wise and cleaning-wise,” Kohles said. “That’s where most conflict comes from.”

Although things are working out for her, Kohles said living together may not be for everyone.

“Don’t rush anything,” Kohles said. “Visiting someone and living with someone are two completely different things. I wouldn’t recommend living with someone unless you really, really care about them.”

Although a growing number of couples are choosing to live together, many still wait until they’re married.

Groehn said couples who do not live together before marriage may not have the opportunity to work out personal issues of living in the same place, but they may have a stronger sense of commitment.

“I think it’s the level of commitment that sustains people while learning about marital and family relations,” Groehn said.

Mary Willard, senior in elementary education, and Chris Mannes, senior in performing arts, have been dating for two years and have decided not to live together.

Willard said family pressure was one major factor in their decision.

“My parents would kill me,” said Willard, who is from Ames.

“Especially since I live here in town, it would be easy for them to find out. We probably wouldn’t even live together if we lived somewhere else because of the religious thing.”

Mannes said both of them are comfortable with their current living situation, and moving in together has never been a big issue.

“We haven’t gotten that far because neither one of us is graduating any time soon,” Mannes said.

Groehn said whatever choice people make, they should realize that it is part of a learning process.

“I think it’s important for people to consider that whatever the relationship is, they’re making a commitment to a learning process that will teach them about themselves and about each other,” Groehn said.

He said it is important for people not to give up immediately when they start having problems with their relationships.

“It’s important to recognize that pain in a relationship quite often is a sign of what individual people need to heal in themselves,” Groehn said. “Don’t give up too soon.”