Saturday night I was out with some old friends and began to reminisce about the good ol’ high school days. So if these days were so good, then why were we sitting there with dazed expressions on our faces and tears in our eyes?

While we were talking, we realized that a couple of friends had died since then in freak accidents, and three other friends had committed suicide.

Although we still have the memories and we usually laugh about them, that brief moment of sadness brought us all the worst feeling of emptiness and anger. The accidents couldn’t have been avoided, but the suicides … they were just selfish acts. Selfish acts that others could have helped to prevent.

Suicide has been an important issue to me ever since my sophomore year in high school when my best friend attempted to commit suicide.

Luckily, she didn’t succeed. At first, I just didn’t get it, but as I grew to understand her pain, I realized why those thoughts were going through her head.

I thought that because she wasn’t seeing a shrink and she wasn’t doing anything about her depression that she was just feeling sorry for herself.

As I have learned through reading Dr. Slaby Garfinkel’s “No One Saw My Pain,” 60 percent of suicides result from depression, and less than one-third of all cases of depression are ever treated. In reality, most suicidal individuals aren’t feeling sorry for themselves, but rather they are begging for help.

That is what my friend was doing through her writing, her tears and her fake smile that she put on to make everyone around her believe she was OK.

My initial attitude toward suicide probably came from the people around me. A lot of people think suicide isn’t a major issue — and if they do, then they don’t like to talk about it or they act like it doesn’t exist. Some people just don’t understand it.

If you don’t think this issue is important or you don’t understand it, then take the time to learn about it. I almost lost my best friend before I took the time to care about it.

Suicide is a growing problem in our world. According to the 1997 issue of Suicide, Individual & Society, over 1000 people commit suicide every day in this world.

Several million attempts are taken every year, and it is among the top 10 causes of death in the U.S. This issue should not only be one of great personal concern, but it should also be looked at as a public health problem.

If you still don’t think it is an important issue, then just imagine getting a call tomorrow telling you that your best friend, your sister, or whoever you love was just added to the list of 60,000 people who will have committed suicide in 1998.

What would you do? If you would’ve just paid attention or taken this issue more seriously.

I don’t think that every suicide has a bystander to blame. But part of my anger this weekend came from thinking that it was my fault that three friends killed themselves.

I thought, “If I had paid attention to the ‘signs,’ maybe they’d still be here laughing with us.” This isn’t fair, though.

There can be external reasons that cause people to attempt suicide, but when it comes down to it, there is no one to blame for suicide other than the one committing the act.

It is up to a selfish individual to pull that trigger, jump off that cliff or take that fatal overdose.

Awareness is important. This topic isn’t discussed enough, nor thought about nearly as much as it should be. It is hard to talk about deep feelings and problems, but we must make the effort.

That effort means being there for a friend who hasn’t been herself lately or paying attention to a student’s writing or drop in grades.

It might mean forcing a friend to go out if they “just haven’t felt like it lately,” or just sitting in silence until they feel comfortable enough to talk about what’s bothering them.

Life isn’t always easy. Most of the time it is damn hard. If you are feeling like things don’t matter anymore, then talk to someone.

There are counseling services available on campus if you don’t have someone to talk to.

If that doesn’t work for you, then take five minutes and think about the people who will be left behind if you go through with it. You may not think they’d care, but you’d be surprised.

I know my friends would take back their decision if they knew how much pain they caused. They never wanted to hurt us. They were just lost.

Life is short. The end will be here soon enough. You never know when a freak accident will take your life, so don’t be selfish and hurt those who love you by jumping the gun. Take advantage of every day, rain or shine.

I hope today is a sunny one for you.

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Amy Hillman is a senior in journalism and mass communications from Grand Junction.