You know the joke: If you speak three languages, you’re trilingual; if you speak two languages, you’re bilingual; if you speak one language, you’re American.

Last Friday, I returned from a week-long tour of Germany. My parents and I traveled to Frankfurt, then toured Heidelburg, Berlin and Munich in seven days, by plane, train, bus and car, before returning to Des Moines.

We saw as much as possible in our week. From castles to concentration camps, we toured pieces of history, which left a firm impression on my mind.

I learned a lot in Germany. The history of Bavarian kings, the will of people in overcoming oppression, the value of a good piece of German chocolate. I realized how lucky I am to live in a country where freedom is usually a priority and Coke has lots of carbonation.

But I learned something else in Germany, something I had never fully realized before.

Americans are stupid.

Before I went to Germany, I spoke no German. I knew how to say “thank you” because I remembered watching “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” when Ferris crooned the old Wayne Newton classic “Danke Schoen.”

While in Germany, I picked up a few more words and phrases. “Bitte” means “please,” “schloá” means “castle,” and “zentrum” means “center.”

But the most important phrase I learned was, “Sprechen sie English?” Which, of course, just about everyone did.

Germans have been taught English for years, from grade school through graduation. Even if they weren’t completely fluent, German people could figure out what I was talking about and respond, something I certainly couldn’t do when someone spoke in German to me.

There were only a few people I encountered in Germany who couldn’t speak English, but those folks made me understand what immigrants in America must feel everyday.

One of my most memorable experiences was when an older man walked up to me as I was sitting in the Munich train station. He started talking to me, in German, about some seemingly urgent thing.

I didn’t know what to say or do as he gestured wildly and talked even more frantically. I didn’t know if he needed a doctor or was just trying to sell me an umbrella. Try as I might, I couldn’t figure out what he needed, and he eventually left to find someone who could. It was the most helpless I have ever felt.

Many Americans think it’s just fine and even appropriate for people all over the world to learn English. In this day of global communication, we need a common language in which we can get through to each other. And hey, since America is the world’s “power,” it might as well be English.

But there’s one problem with that theory. Germans can’t only speak English. They can also speak French, or Spanish, or whatever. They make it their business to be at least trilingual, so they can communicate with whoever they meet, even wayward tourists like me.

In fact, the people who couldn’t speak English were irritated with me. They couldn’t understand why I would come to their country, not knowing any of their language, but expect them to know my language.

The contrasts between attitudes about language in America and Germany are sharp.

In America, we’re banning bilingual education and enforcing “English-only” statutes. In Germany, they’re teaching their citizens to learn as many languages as possible, to be better equipped to communicate in this global community.

In America, we’re deathly afraid of losing some of our culture if we embrace any other cultures. In Germany, they understand that knowing more about others makes you appreciate your own culture even more.

In America, we count on everyone else to learn our way of doing things. In Germany, they count on themselves to deal with others, and they laugh at us for insisting on our ethnocentricity.

While in college, we’re facing one of our last opportunities to delve into other cultures. We can still learn a language, study abroad, or research a country. We can reverse international opinion and better equip ourselves for international living.

I know at least this much: I won’t go back to Germany until I can count on myself to speak the language. I won’t have to say “Sprechen sie English?” again.

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Sara Ziegler is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Sioux Falls, S.D. She is managing editor of the Daily.