Daily Staff Writer

“Blue Plate Special”

Dance Hall Crashers

Dance Hall Crashers bought a cookbook titled “How to Play Ska Like Everyone Else,” and the band followed the recipes word-for-word.

What resulted is the utterly bland and weak mix of songs found on the band’s new E.P. “Blue Plate Special.”

The best thing about this album: The entire thing only lasts only 19 minutes and 32 seconds.

“Truly Comfortable” scarily resembles the Goldfinger radio song “Here in Your Bedroom” almost note-for-note, all the way up to the same guitar line.

And “All Mine” sounds like what would result if Madonna sang in a ska band.

The album isn’t all bad, though. One unique aspect of it is that you can pop it into your computer and see music videos.

But musically, there are other albums out there from female-fronted ska bands that are more worth your time.

If this album is ever delivered to your dinner table — send it back.

1 star out of five

— Conor Bezane

“The Blackest Album”

Various Artists

Off the heels of tribute albums for The Cure and AC/DC, Cleopatra Records brings the world of industrial music into Metallica’s ballpark.

Storming into this CD, however, might be a different story.

Although imitating heroes while creating fresh, new interpretations of world-renowned music has always been a challenge for even the greatest of acts, the grounds of industrial music are highly influenced by the roots of rock that have defined Metallica.

So how hard can it be to recreate that distinct sound? As this record indicates, it may be easier said than done.

The opening rendition of “Nothing Else Matters” by Apoptygma Berzerk is a terrible way to salute a band so-hailed as genuine. These guys should ditch the Metallica effort and bring their new-age swirling synthesizers alongside Yanni.

Even longtime industrial fave Razed In Black struggles to keep “The Thing That Should Not Be” from becoming an overly produced mud-ball of sound. Lead singer Romell Regulacion clearly cannot reproduce James Hetfield’s scowling chants that made the original the frightening masterpiece that it is.

“The Blackest Album” does create a lurid and interesting composition, complete with mechanical drones of Die Krupps, to house dance floor renditions of “Seek and Destroy” by Birmingham 6 and “Battery” by La Honda Militia.

In Strict Confidence and The Element introduce a trippy back beat drum loop to “Sad But True” and “Nothing Else Matters,” completely redefining the songs.

For a tribute, “The Blackest Album” lacks the raw power and defining traits that a Metallica fan would expect. But as an industrial/techno reconstruction, the record is a worthy piece of music.

3 stars out of five

—Ryan Rogness

“About Time”

The Five Fingers of Funk

Oregon’s nine-piece The Five Fingers of Funk combines great funk music and modern hip-hop lyrics to create a sound that is candy for the ears.

Using percussion, bass, a three-part horn section, turntables and, of course, the “keys,” Five Fingers of Funk creates a mixture of sound that has been presumably lost in the music world today.

The group focuses on heavy rapping in some songs and totally funks out on others.

Some of frontman Pete Miser’s lyrics are a little too gangsta-like, but the heavy scratching and the synthesized sounds that come from DJ Chill Blend’s turntables make up for it.

DJ Chill Blend is recognized as one of the Northwest’s finest DJs, and it definitely shows on this record. His scratching and record spinning prove that he can hang with such big boys as Mix Maxter Mike and DJ Lethal.

One thing that really sticks out on “About Time” is the variety of funk and the vocals that encompass the tracks. The poppy percussion and the classic quality horn section give it a very classic feel.

The blend of slow and fast funk sets “About Time” apart from the dozens of monotonous funk records currently on shelves.

4 stars out of five

— Kyle Moss

“Superlife”

Maximum Penalty

Maximum Penalty’s “Superlife” is nothing less than an ’80s rock lovin’/headbanger’s dream-come-true.

It can serve as the perfect transition record between any metal fan’s “Best of Warrant” album and Pantera’s “Vulgar Display of Power.”

So come on everybody — grab your balls and bang your head.

Maximum Penalty establishes this tone early with the in-your-face opening track “Believe,” a classic example of a basic three power chord arrangement using nothing but forceful quarter notes.

Backing the lead guitar is a solid bass line and a drummer trying his best to punch holes in his snare.

The rest of “Superlife” doesn’t vary much from the sound of “Believe.” The only breaks in the monotony are a couple of two-minute punk tunes.

The album gets really boring when lead singer Jim Wadud Williams begins his bellowing, which remains constant throughout the record.

His vocal style is a cross between Alice In Chains and Guns ‘N’ Roses. The “yi yi yi’s” found throughout the album seem like lyrics stolen out of Rose’s personal library.

As far as Maximum Penalty’s artwork — something has got to change. The cover consists of two “bad” Catholic school girls with blue hair and black lipstick. The inside cover is a collage with band members flicking off the camera.

What is the final verdict? Eighties rock lovers and ’90s headbangers: “Superlife” is a must-buy for your collection. Everyone else: Go to a used store if you’re still interested — there are bound to be quite a few there.

1 star out of five

— Sam Johnson

“Wonderland Park”

Ednaswap

If you’ve ever been guilty of listening to Top 40 radio, you’ve heard an Ednaswap song. But it wasn’t the same rendition of the tune that appears on two of the group’s earlier albums.

Australian diva Natalie Imbruglia promoted Ednaswap’s song “Torn” to the pinnacles of all pop radio charts.

On its third full-length album, Ednaswap delivers a strong record worthy of chart-topping status, but unlike Imbruglia, it may not fit the Top 40 radio format.

Singer Anne Preven’s vocals connote a loose hybrid of Pat Benatar, Alanis Morissette and the smoother side of Melissa Etheridge’s larynx.

“74 Willow” is the standout track on the album. It boasts Preven’s gentler, motherly side as she sings melancholy lines like “I’ve been looking for the ending my story lacks/A strong enough magnet to pull me back/Oh, you are that” against a backdrop of meek acoustic guitar and synthesizers.

“Wonderland Park” isn’t for you if you’ve never been torn. A majority of the tracks on the album refer to the alienated, split-apart feeling.

3 1/2 stars out of five

— Jason Young