Sometimes, when the insulting letters start piling up, I feel like the only Vanilla Ice fan in Ames.

Then, I get a letter like this one and I don’t feel so alone.

Cory, (obviously a huge fan)

Last year, or maybe it was two years ago, you were the DJ at a floor party in Helser, and we both had Vanilla Ice T-shirts on. I don’t know if you remember that, but you had your friend take a picture of us in our awesome shirts.

Well, sadly, my Vanilla Ice shirt was stolen last year, and I’m really upset about the whole thing. I guess I’m asking you a favor, if it’s at all possible. You don’t realize how much that shirt meant to me. I wore it all the time — it was a part of my existence.

Seriously. I love the Ice Man, and I put up reward signs everywhere for the return of my shirt, but I didn’t have any luck.

By any chance, do you still have that picture, or a negative of it? It is the last record of me and my shirt, and I would be ecstatic if you could somehow get me a copy or something.

I’ll pay you whatever it costs for the time and trouble — just please, help me out here! Thanks a lot for your time. This means a lot to me.

Thanks again,

Jen Berggren

Here was my response:

Jen,

Of course I remember you! I never forget a fellow Vanilla fan. I am VERY sorry to hear about your shirt. That sucks someone would steal such a token of your life. I guess that proves there are more Vanilla fans out there than we think.

I am also sad to say that I don’t have the picture. I remember someone taking it and I tried to hunt it down one day last year but didn’t have much luck. I figured out it must not have been one of my friends who took the picture.

Well, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to run your letter to me as a column sometime, demanding whoever stole your shirt to return it and whoever has that picture to send it.

As a reward to the person who returns the picture, I will run it in the Daily, with your permission of course.

What do you think? Last year, my goal was to meet Vanilla. This year, it is to get your shirt back. By the end of the year, if I fail to retrieve your shirt, I will give you mine.

In other Ice news, I am working on an interview in the next few weeks for when his new record is coming out. His publicist played a little bit for me and it was cool, definitely different Ice than people will expect.

Can’t wait until he becomes HUGE again.

Keep in touch,

Corey

She wrote back:

Cory, (still loyal)

You are awesome! I can’t believe you’re so understanding about this whole loss in my life.

I cut out every Ice article you wrote in the Daily since I was a freshman, because I couldn’t believe someone else here liked him and wasn’t afraid to admit it.

I have totally followed the whole thing — I can’t believe you actually met him last year. I was so totally jealous reading that article.

Thanks a million for your efforts. You have my permission to print anything in the Daily that you want.

Jen Berggren

Ahh yeeaahh. A little Ice fan bonding action going on.

So to the bastard who pilfered innocent Jen Berggren’s Vanilla Ice T-shirt, I demand you return it at once.

You stole a piece of someone’s life, man. How can you look at yourself in the mirror?

If anyone has any information on Miss Berggren’s shirt or the rare candid of Ames’ loyalist Ice fans, please e-mail [email protected].

If the smooth criminal returns the shirt, I promise to wear my own precious Ice shirt everyday for the rest of the year.

If not, three words: Flaming Lips Experiment. Yep, yep.

Corey Moss is a senior in journalism and mass communication from Urbandale.