Mad props to Damon and Thor Moreno for organizing Saturday’s Headbanger’s Beach-Ball — Budhafest ’98.

Actually, organizing may not be the best choice of words as the all-day local music festival was more chaos than order.

But — and this is one big-ass but — Budhafest was still a roaring success.

Local bands and fans alike enjoyed a day of bonding (or for some — bondage) in the sun to the tune of central Iowa’s loudest, meanest and definitely angriest musicians.

Clearwater Beach served as an ideal venue, with gorgeous scenery, two well-positioned stages, several better-positioned beer stands and an even better-positioned strip club (Beach Girls is a football field away from the main stage).

Ames’ rockers Grubbie Ernie and 35″ Mudder represented the town of the “Babewatch” wedding to the fullest, with sets that bounced more than banged.

The beauty of Budhafest, though, was standing back and catching a glimpse of over 20 bands hanging out, laughing and having one helluva good time — together.

However, Budhafest was not without its Flaming Lips Experiments (a.k.a. mistakes).

So, to thou who aspires to be a part of the next local music festival — and there will be more — here are some dos and don’ts of localpaloozas.

Do spell Budhafest with two ds. Journalists are easily confused and often troubled by festival names that are misspelled.

Don’t bring high school girls on stage and encourage them to show their womanhood to the crowd. There were more boobs at Budhafest than a Friday night on Cinemax. How tacky.

Do tell the guards at the gate that you’re with “the band” and you’ll get in free and get a good parking spot.

Don’t forget to have security backstage. Thor put it best during Vivid’s set when he said he felt like he was playing an MTV “Unplugged” show because there were as many listeners behind him as in front.

Do remember that not everyone drinks Budweiser. Nothing tastes better on a sunny afternoon than an ice-cold Zima.

Don’t mess with 35″ Mudder. An apparent Release fan was so anxious for his fave band to take the stage, he was making obscene gestures to each of the prior bands, including our 35″ boys, who weigh in at a combined 1,100 pounds. (Ironically, it was lightweight Corey Brown who choose to gesture back to the drunken fool.)

Do endure outrageous stage antics that liven-up the monotony of 20 metal bands one-after-another. Des Moines’ Deadfront opened up with a motorcyclist jumping off center stage and onto the beach, while Vivid jammed to a backdrop consisting of two girls painted white, dancing around a white sofa.

Don’t forget bug spray.

Do stay behind the drums if you are the drummer. (Hint to Vivid.)

Don’t book a band unknown to an entire state as a headliner. Release may have rocked the Casbah, but only 15 people were left to see it.

And finally, do invite Carmen Electra, Dennis Rodman, David Hasselhoff and “Downtown” Julie Brown and you’re guaranteed a crowd of 400 or so.

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Corey Moss is a senior in journalism and mass communication from Urbandale.