Youth and Shelter Services, Inc. of Ames will be offering a “survivors of suicide” group beginning in September for family members and friends of those who have taken their own lives.

The group will meet on Monday nights from Sept. 21 through Nov. 9. The program is free of charge and will be led by Brita Rekve, director of community-based services at YSS, 420 Kellogg Ave.

“As a facilitator, I can tell you that this is a painful process,” Rekve said.

Rekve said she thinks members receive a tremendous amount of support from the group and learn that healing is a process.

“[The group is about] learning how to deal with the pain, not getting rid of it,” she said.

Susan Tucker of Ames, who lost a brother to suicide, participated in the first YSS survivors of suicide support group last year.

“We [as a society] are not sure how to take that kind of death,” Tucker said about suicide. “I think we tend to go inside ourselves. The group helped me deal with my grief in a deeper way.”

Rekve, Tucker and Ray Benter, public information officer for YSS, all said they think there is a strong need for such a group in Ames.

“If you look at the average suicide rate across the nation, Ames is ahead of that number,” Benter said.

Tucker said she was in a survivors of suicide support group in California before she moved to Ames. She said when she and her parents heard about several suicides in the community, they suggested that YSS start a similar group.

Rekve said after Tucker’s suggestion, YSS let it be known that the group was starting, and the response was great.

“Suicide is especially tough, and nobody seems to know how to handle it,” Rekve said.

Tucker said group members tell their individual stories during the first session. At later meetings, they write letters to the people they lost, and to people who they may have shut out or who have shut them out after the deaths.

“I think, in particular, writing the letter helped me deal with some things I hadn’t permitted myself to think about,” Tucker said. “It was a good way to voice some of the things I hadn’t been able to say to [my brother].”

Benter said the group is in-depth and intensive.

“It’s really a rather insulated group,” Benter said. “They’re dealing with very personal life situations.”

He said after the second meeting, new people will not be allowed to join the group because of the need for cohesiveness.

“I don’t think outsiders can even fully understand what goes on in the group,” Benter said.

Tucker said there were about 10 people in the first group, including her mother and father.

“I hope a lot of people will take part in the [new] group,” Tucker said. “You never have to talk about something you don’t want to, and it’s a very safe environment.”

For more information or to register, call Rekve with the YSS Family Counseling Center at 233-2250.