I always enjoy the Equal Rites Awards, an annual tradition from Ellen Goodman, columnist for the Boston Globe.

Goodman’s column, which celebrates the anniversary of women getting the right to vote, ran in Tuesday’s Des Moines Register, and I decided it would be a good idea for me to give a similar set of awards.

Since I haven’t been keeping track all year, The Daily Disappointment Awards highlight the stories covered in the Daily’s first week that I found particularly discouraging or unbelievable.

Although I certainly appreciated Goodman’s Superstars of Sexism, Deadbeat Dad and Raging Hormonal Imbalance awards, I made up my own categories.

So, without further ado, here are the winners, in random order.

The Most Blatant Misuse of Aerobic Apparel Award goes to the women who participated in the Mrs. Ames contest.

I don’t care if the pageant emphasizes family values and community involvement — they were also judged by their looks.

And you can’t tell me that “fitness” makes you a better person or a better ambassador.

My condolences to all those “dogs” who didn’t make the cut.

We can’t all look great in leotards, girls, and everyone knows anyone representing Ames has to be a hottie.

I just don’t understand why we don’t have a Mr. Ames.

The Boys Will Be Boys Award goes hands down to Chad Calek, entertainment columnist for the Daily.

Calek managed to alienate a record number of people this week with his charming critique of the “Lilith Fair type of sound,” which he so eloquently defined as “pussy music.”

Calek contradicted himself, however, by first stating that it was his readers’ prerogative to like whatever kind of music they chose, then complaining about the concert series.

“Why do I have to deal with it?” he asked.

Well, Mr. Calek, you didn’t have to deal with it before you wrote that ridiculous and highly offensive column, but you sure do now.

I don’t think “lesbian warrior types” are necessarily out to kill just anything with a penis, but I certainly hope they take over the musical world.

I would much rather see them in charge of the music world than people like you.

The Lackluster Law Award goes to the legal system that judged John Tate not guilty of third-degree sexual assault.

As the county attorney said, no wonder victims of rape don’t press charges.

Women, remember, if you think there is ANY possibility that you may have been raped, check your genitals — really get down and examine them — or your story may not be deemed believable by the defense attorney, at least if that attorney is Guy Cook.

You might want to videotape your examination for the jury.

I just can’t see why any woman would want to press charges if she didn’t have damn good reason to believe she was raped, but I could be wrong.

The Persistent Pervert Award goes to Michael Simonson, who recently appealed his dismissal from ISU.

He was fired after President Jischke saw “reasonable grounds” to believe Simonson created a hostile or abusive work environment.

It really is a shame that more students didn’t get an opportunity to be fondled by Simonson in a hot tub, but, as my grandmother likes to say, “there ain’t no justice in this here world.”

The Silver Platter of Silicone goes to all the Ames residents who went cuckoo over the wedding of Robb Vallier and Traci Bingham.

At least one Ames resident claimed it was the most exciting moment in the history of Ames.

Come on, people. Don’t get me wrong, they seem like nice enough people, and if they want to get married, that’s great.

So she was on “Baywatch.” So the dress cost a bazillion dollars. So what?

We’re not talking about Princess Diana here. Get a life.

Finally, the Jerks in Journalism Award goes to The Tribune reporter Michael McNarney, who wrote “Don’t Get Caught,” a classy little article advising students how to get away with drinking alcohol.

Tactful, no. Stupid, yes.

I was going to say it would never have been printed in the Daily, but after seeing the entertainment column on Tuesday, I hesitate to make such a claim.

In closing, I would like to say that although I like the idea of giving out awards, I hope I don’t have cause to devote my column to awards of this nature each and every time I write. I’m sure you feel the same way.

Have a good week, and remember to use your aerobic wear for exercising.

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Catherine Conover is a a senior in liberal studies from Mapleton. She is the features editor of the Daily.