“There is nothing to do in Ames” is a dinner conversation to some. But to these seven individuals, that phrase is a swear word.

Scott Andresen, Dark Knight, Rusty Poehner, Tony Bohnenkamp, Dave Gugliotta, Jane Cox and Mark Miller are the kind of people who get to work an hour early and leave an hour late just so they can be sure to land the perfect concert, publish the perfect paper, play the perfect song or direct the perfect play.

They are the most motivated, most creative, most eccentric, most hardworking entertainers in Ames. And they do it all for you — the audience.

Nothing makes them happier than to see Iowa State students and the Ames community enjoy themselves. These seven individuals are the core of an entertainment mecca that is about to explode.

Scott “Tattooed Guru” Andresen

Publisher, Sideshow

Tell Scott “Tattooed Guru” Andresen that there is nothing to do in Iowa and this is what you will hear: “Dude, Iowa rocks.”

“If Iowa sucks, then the people who live here suck,” Andresen said from his day job at Disc Go Round. “And I refuse to think I suck.”

Andresen has made a career out of refusing.

When he took the position of Arts & Entertainment (formerly known as Currents) editor at the Daily five years ago, he refused to follow the same smooth path as his predecessors.

Instead, he spoke his mind, attacking everyone from greeks to the chicks who wear those backpack/purse things. But with every enemy he made, he gained a friend, not to mention a cult following that has yet to dwindle.

“People still talk about columns I wrote three years ago,” Andresen said. “That’s something that still amazes me. Before, I was just another dude with an opinion and no way to express it.”

The Tattooed Guru graced the Daily pages for two years until Andresen graduated. He then took a job as entertainment editor at a newsweekly in Kansas City, but returned to Ames five months later when the Campus Reader offered him a similar job and a chance to revive the Guru.

In the spring of 1997, frustrations with the Reader were taking a toll on the young journalist and he left the magazine to join in the launch of the infamous Metropolitan. One issue later, the Des Moines newsweekly crumbled and Andresen vowed never to work for a newspaper again unless it was his own.

A few months later, Andresen published the first issue of Sideshow, a music zine complete with its own satire section. He has since published nine more issues and will begin circulating in Des Moines with issue 11.

“Everything in Sideshow is brutally honest,” he said. “A lot of writers who interview bands who are coming to town end up kissing their asses. To me, that gets old. I find different angles.”

Andresen, who has never taken a journalism or English class in his life, has published Sideshow almost entirely on his own. While he is proud to say he has not lost money on his latest adventure, he also admits that he has not made any.

“Who needs profits?” he asked in his signature “is he serious?” tone. “A lot of people talk about starting their own paper. Well, I did it. And I didn’t have to get my hair cut. And I haven’t sold out. I’ve stayed underground and I’m proud of that.”

As a result of Andresen’s “always changing” approach to Sideshow, the paper has recently been redesigned and will include several new sections, including an advice column called Ask Hugo (yes, the tattoo artist from The Asylum), Rumur Mill, Spin This (“We listen to the crap so you don’t have to”) and the long-awaited return of the Tattooed Guru.

“I want people [in Ames] to be more open-minded,” he said.

“Ninety percent of the people in this town aren’t satisfied unless Dave Matthews Band is here every week. Well, I guess we have Tim Mahoney. I stand corrected.”

The Dark Knight

Radio personality, KCCQ

The Dark Knight may not reveal his real name, but he is willing to reveal his skin tone.

“People will meet me and say ‘you’re the Dark Knight? I thought you were a black guy,'” The Dark Knight said. “I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the kind of music I play. Maybe it’s the way I talk sometimes. But there are a handful of people out there that think I’m a black guy. A big tall burly black guy.”

The Dark Knight, who is as white as they come, has been entertaining Ames residents with his evening show on KCCQ for nearly four years.

His shows, ranging from Audio Plus or Minus to the Friday Knight All Request Party, are often as bizarre as an episode of Jerry Springer, and his obnoxiously charming personality has become a favorite among Iowa State students.

The Dark Knight also plays a role in choosing the music Hot 105 plays, which can be a good or bad thing, depending on your tolerance for the Backstreet Boys and Spice Girls.

“To be honest, I’m embarrassed whenever I have to get on the air and talk favorably about any Celine Dion song,” The Dark Knight said. “I know there are people who love Celine Dion, but me personally, I just don’t like her. But if there’s a Celine Dion song that’s popular, we’re going to play it.”

Although The Dark Knight comes off as the class clown type, he does take his job very seriously. There is job dedication — and then there is The Dark Knight.

“Sometimes I’ll go up to the mall and pretty much just walk around and look at people,” he said. “That’s the way I get a feel for what’s going on around here. I’ll go people watch somewhere. You know, non-chalantly eavesdrop on some conversations, just to get a feel of what people are talking about.”

The Dark Knight’s sly people watching skills work wonders for the Minnesota native — that is, until he opens his mouth.

“That’s the thing that’s scariest to me right now,” he said. “I take it as a compliment, but at the same it’s a little freaky that I can be out shopping and someone will hear my voice and say ‘Dark Knight?'”

Since The Dark Knight has been at KCCQ, the station has increased its wattage to cover the Des Moines area and is now competing heavily with central Iowa’s top stations.

“My biggest accomplishment is keeping the radio listeners in central Iowa in tune with different styles of music,” he said. “That’s my main job — to play the hits. When I play something that’s new and someone calls up and goes ‘man, that’s a cool song, I’ve never heard that before,’ I know I’ve done my job.”

Whether it is a celebrity broomball game or an on-campus picnic, The Dark Knight is usually there, living up the party. He also DJed the Taste of Veishea stage last spring and lends his voice to many an advertiser on the station.

“Anyone who tells me they’re bored in this town, they’re not a creative person, they’re lazy,” he said. “There are 27 parks in this town. Go out and read a book. Of course, bring your radio along with you.”

Rusty Poehner

Coordinator, The Maintenance Shop

Long before Smashing Pumpkins, Squirrel Nut Zippers and Cherry Poppin’ Daddies were whored out by Jesse and his MTV cohorts, Rusty Poehner was sitting at the door of The Maintenance Shop watching them jam on the ever-so-intimate stage nearby.

This fall Poehner will resume her signature seat as she enters her eighth year as M-Shop coordinator — only this time her eyes will be on Sister Soleil, Solas and The Barnyard Playboys.

“The M-Shop has a history of hosting nobodies that turn into somebodies,” Poehner said. “People just need to trust us. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t heard the band on the radio. That’s no excuse.”

In the M-Shop’s 25 years, the snug club has built a reputation as one of the most stable music venues in the state. Showcasing an enormous variety of jazz, folk, blues and rock, the M-Shop has also been a pioneer in inaugurating the ska, swing and celtic movements in the Midwest.

The M-Shop has roped such legends as Muddy Waters, Taj Mahal, Arlo Guthrie and Bob Mould into coming to Ames and in 1994 received the W.C. Handy Keeping the Blues Alive Award for Best Nightclub.

“A club owner or promoter has the impossible job of making everyone happy,” Poehner said. “You can’t just cater to the band or just cater to the audience. You need balance.”

As the only professional staff member of the M-Shop’s music program, Poehner relies heavily on student directors to provide that balance.

“When I came here, I’ll be honest, I was really worried,” she admitted. “I’m an old fart. Grunge and late punk did nothing for me. But that’s what the student director is for. Their knowledge of what’s going on now combined with my perspective on the industry is the perfect recipe for success.”

This school year could be Poehner’s most challenging yet. Not only is the M-Shop organizing a special 25th anniversary event, the club could face attendance difficulties after a ruling last spring by the Memorial Union directors to make the venue, which is a restaurant by day, smoke-free.

But if the schedule for the first two months is any indication, Poehner and her crew are not holding back. The Scofflaws, Tripping Daisy and Babe the Blue Ox are expected to draw large student crowds, as well as staple acts such as The Drovers and The Delstars.

“People rarely go away from The M-Shop unhappy, and I don’t plan on that changing,” Poehner said.

Tony Bohnenkamp

Drummer, The Nadas

There is a reason that guy sitting behind the drums at The Nadas’ shows is always smiling.

Contrary to popular belief, that kid-next-door smile has little to do with the free drinks he is served as one of the many benefits of his current occupational status — professional musician.

Tony Bohnenkamp is smiling because he is home.

“Ames is a great place to live,” he said from a cell phone on the way to one of The Nadas many out-of-state gigs this summer. “There’s this perception people we meet have of Iowa that there’s no running water and we’re all corn growers. They don’t believe that we have great entertainment.”

Bohnenkamp’s own perception of entertainment in Iowa comes from the inside. In other words, he is one of the reasons Ames has great entertainment.

A veteran of the local music scene, Bohnenkamp was the founding member and frontman of the now defunct Lunchbox. Together four years, the band released two full-length CDs and gigged religiously at Ames and Des Moines clubs.

When graduation separated the group, Bohnenkamp moved to a suburb of Chicago and took a job at a golf course.

But it wasn’t long before he received a phone call from a former fraternity brother, Nadas’ singer/guitarist Mike Butterworth, asking him to join their band.

Bohnenkamp couldn’t resist the opportunity to play music again and gladly put down his guitar for a cob-webbed pair of drumsticks, the musician’s supposed bread and butter.

He has since recorded the percussion for The Nadas “New Start,” toured nationally with the group and launched a bit of a solo career, opening for the group with an acoustic blend of his own music with U2, Barenaked Ladies and Sonia Dada covers.

But Bohnenkamp’s best times by far have been the band’s monthly performances at People’s Bar and Grill, a place he calls “home base.”

“It is such a great place,” he said. “We always know we are going to have a great crowd there.

“It’s so cool,” Bohnenkamp continued. “People in Ames support local music in their own way. And really, for being such a small town, Ames represents the whole gamut of music, from 35″ Mudder to Medulla Oblongata to The Nadas. We have everything.”

Everything except for the Bon Jovi reunion tour Bohnenkamp said he would like to see at Jack Trice Stadium.

“We do need more big shows,” he continued. “We have the facilities, we need use them.”

Talk about living on a prayer.

Dave Gugliotta

Program director, KURE

Arts & Entertainment editor, Campus Reader

“Most artists aren’t the spoiled rock stars that the stereotypes make them out to be,” proclaims Dave Gugliotta, the Gentle Giant of the Ames entertainment scene. “In most cases, they are just regular guys who became stars accidentally.”

Usually sporting a black T-shirt from one of his favorite metal bands, Gugliotta can usually be found in one of his two offices, setting up interviews with national acts ranging from B.B. King to Bill Medley of The Righteous Brothers to Marcy Playground.

In just two years in Ames, Gugliotta has become the king of music media. He is not only the program director of the entirely student-run KURE, he is also the blues and metal music directors.

“That’s what I’m really proud of, bringing metal and loud rock back to the station,” Gugliotta said. “When I first got here, that area of music wasn’t getting represented.”

Gugliotta also played a major role in creating jazz, blues and Americana blocks that can be heard on weekday evenings and Sunday afternoons.

The Boston-born Gugliotta moved to Oregon when he was 10 and spent countless hours listening to a public radio station out of Southern Oregon.

“I remember thinking ‘I could do what they do,” he said.

So when Gugliotta enrolled at Iowa Central in Fort Dodge, he did just that. Three years later, he took his public and school radio station experience to the newly revived KURE.

“I am such a fan of music, and with both jobs, I get to meet and talk to artists,” Gugliotta said. “Just last week I got to meet John Bush from Anthrax, the band that got me serious into metal.”

Blues, jazz, metal, ’80s hair-bands — all make up a fraction of Gugliotta’s music collection, which exceeds 5,000 titles. Not bad for a 27-year-old college student who’s not eyeing graduation anytime soon.

Jane Cox

Professor, director, actor, playwright, Iowa State Theatre Department

For Jane Cox, there was never a doubt.

“When I was little girl, before I had even been inside a theater, I knew this is what I wanted to do,” Cox asserted.

The Kordell Stewart of the Iowa State Theatre Department, Cox has been costume designing, directing, writing and acting in Iowa State Theater productions for 20 years.

During the early ’90s, Cox spent several months researching Carrie Chapman Catt and wrote a one-woman play on the women’s rights suffragist in which she starred.

Over the next the few years, Cox toured over 25 states, presenting the play at such memorable venues as the Smithsonian and the Kennedy Center.

“It was so exciting,” Cox said of her Kennedy Center performance. “When you are standing on a stage like that you always think about all of the worlds of people who have stood on it.”

Along with her direct involvement in the theatre, Cox is also an instructor at Iowa State, teaching courses on playwrighting and the performing arts. Several of her playwrighting students have gone on to produce their plays on campus.

“One of the things I try to do as a teacher is get students interested in the performing arts,” Cox said. “Get them to see the magic that can be in a dance or a song or a play. To experience something in performing arts that is so thrilling they’ll remember it for the rest of their life.

“I truly believe there is something in the arts for everybody. There is an incredible richness to the arts.”

Cox broke new ground in the performing arts with a musical she co-wrote with two Iowa State music professors about the life of Clara Schumann. The production included every aspect of a normal musical, except classical music was used in the place of popular music.

“It was the first time something like that had been done before, so we were incredibly nervous,” Cox recalled. “It went so well. It was such a thrill.”

Cox continued in the tradition of “Schumann” last year with the production of “Johannes Braham: The Unforgettable One.” She also wrote, directed and starred in “Shirley Valentine” and directed “The School For Scandal.”

In November, Cox will be directing the musical “A Little Night Music.”

“I really think Ames has wonderful, very intelligent, very well-read audiences,” Cox said. “They are willing to try new things and think about what they see on stage.

“I once saw a movie called ‘Shadowlands’ about C.S. Lewis, and in it he is asked why he thinks people read. He answers ‘to know that we’re not alone.’ I think you can say that about the performing arts as well.”

Mark Miller

Event coordinator, Iowa State Center

Mark Miller may not have studied geography during his years at Iowa State in the early ’80s, but ever since, he has been keeping Iowa on the map.

As events coordinator at the Iowa State Center, Miller is part of a team of professionals who coordinate the concerts, sporting events and conferences that visit Hilton Coliseum, Stephens Auditorium and Jack Trice Stadium each year.

Since Miller has been at the Center, he has treated Ames to its first ever stadium concert (The Rolling Stones) and a handful of other outdoor performances by the likes of U2, Genesis and Paul McCartney.

In recent years, Hilton Coliseum has hosted a three-night stay by Garth Brooks and dozens of other memorable performances, including those by Smashing Pumpkins, Neil Diamond, Ozzy Osbourne, Reba McEntire, Metallica, Rod Stewart, R.E.M and Phish.

“It’s nice to bring in diverse acts that the community likes to see,” Miller said. “It’s such a changing industry. It keeps you on your toes.”

Unlike the smaller music venues in Ames, the Iowa State Center is frequently visited by concertgoers in surrounding cities like Des Moines, Fort Dodge and Marshalltown.

“We do running reports on ticket sales so we can see where people are buying their tickets,” Miller said. “For the big shows, we’ll get people coming from out of state.”

One of Miller’s major tasks is doing research to see if a show will do well in Ames. This includes looking at ticket sales of past concerts and checking unit sales in this area.

“Although, we’ve learned unit sells don’t translate into ticket sales,” Miller added. “A lot of the rap records are being purchased by 10-, 11- and 12-year-olds, and their parents won’t let them go by themselves and they don’t want to go with them.”

This may explain why Ames has had very few hip-hop and R & B shows since the styles became more popular with younger listeners. There were even rumors that this summer’s Boyz II Men show was canceled due to lackluster ticket sales.

However, Miller assures that the Iowa State Center is not finished with hip-hop or R & B.

“We have to get a promoter who is willing to take a chance,” he said. “But there are rap shows that have done well. M.C. Hammer, back in his day, did very well here.”

Miller also promises that Ames is still on the market for stadium concerts.

“We can still do shows out there,” he said. “It just depends on who’s available. We’re always negotiating.”