America and I have an unexplored addiction — we like to make lists. We have to-do lists. We have our lists of who is on our good side and our bad side. We have wish lists.

This summer, Entertainment Weekly, a magazine that you cannot open without a list suckerpunching you in the face, even had a list of the 50 best lists of all time, with things like “Schindler’s List,” “The Ten Commandments” and The Chicago Seven making the cut.

You may also recall that this summer the American Film Institute released its highly scientific list of the top 100 movies of all time, which was a list that many people took seriously, or decided to with the resulting marketing whiplash.

Hot on the heels of that list came the Nearly Dead White Man Authors of America’s final decision on who wrote the 100 best books in the twentieth century, with Ulysses by James Joyce being the victor.

The press and the public treated this dispatch from the front more skeptically, seeing that not many people have read Ulysses or any other book on the list, and these recommendations aren’t going to make them start now.

I am left still wondering why no national recording associations have decided to weigh in with the “Top 100 songs of all time!”

Or maybe the recording industry is waiting for someone to step up to the plate and complete their task.

A task which I wouldn’t mind taking on.

So without further ado, here are “Tori’s Top Ten Singles of All Time.”

10. “Brand New Key” —Melanie. This classic, presented to a generation of new ears with last fall’s Boogie Nights, is a must to liven up any occasion.

9. “Duncashane” — Wayne Newton. Such a heartwarming tale of young love can never be forgotten. I can only hope to someday have the relationship described in this song.

8. “Muskrat Love” — Tony Orlando and Dawn. The title says it all. Also, if Henry Kissinger wanted to sing it during Orlando and Dawn’s visit to the White House in the ’70s, it can’t be all that bad.

7. “You Can Leave Your Hat On” — Joe Cocker. Strippers the world over rejoiced last fall when The Full Monty presented this song as a new way to get a couple more dollars from their customers. I’m wagering that Joe Cocker is enjoying the money rolling in as well.

6. “Backstreet’s Back” — The Backstreet Boys. Yes, along with the 11-year-old girls of America, I simply adore the Backstreet Boys, and my love for them (even though some may call it obsession) has returned with me to Iowa State. I mean, chills run down my spine every time I hear Nick sing, “Am I sexual?” New Kids on the Block, we hardly knew ye.

5. “Super Bowl Shuffle” — The 1985 Chicago Bears. Being the Packers fan that I am, I not only enjoy this song for its musical contribution to history, but for the fact that this song seemed to be the Waterloo of Da Bears.

4. “I’m So Tired” — The Beatles. Hey, I’m exhausted! Don’t you understand this? This song has gotten me through some rough times when I thought I would fall asleep walking to class. Or in class, or studying for class. I guess the song is irrelevant. I’m just tired. In fact, I’m yawning right now.

3. “Supermodel” — RuPaul. Ru’s urgings for people to love themselves as they are is really needed in this day and age. Admit it. Haven’t you ever had a time in your life where you wanted to be a supermodel? I certainly have. This song makes it possible to be Cindy Crawford for three minutes.

2.”The Funeral March” — Chopin. If you’ve been stuck with a pesky roommate this fall and need to keep them out of the room for your sanity, play this song. Repeatedly. At full volume. I guarantee that they’ll be out of there faster than you can say “Kenny G.”

1. “Hats off to Larry” — Some cat who sounds eerily like Paul Anka. For a song that is featured repeatedly on my hometown oldies station, at least it has a surprise. See, this girl broke up with the singer of the song and hooked up with Larry, and he’s lamenting his fate as the song begins.

So there we have it. Ten of the best songs of all time.

Actually, I can only stand to listen to about three of these songs, and the Backstreet Boys don’t number among them.

I’ll leave it up to you to figure out which three.

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Tori Rosin is a sophomore in journalism and mass communication from Eagan, Minnesota.