The dawn of a new day has arrived. Those who have previously shackled the Icehouse King must now pay the fiddler.

And the fiddler is playing a song filled with blood, sugar, sex and magic, baby.

That’s right kids. Corey Moss has unleashed the Kracken. The words of severity are now firmly placed upon you.

What can you expect from the new Calek entertainment column? Starting next week you will hear about a top musical pick of the week from yours truly.

I must first warn you, though. These picks will not be for the faint of heart.

You will not find any bands that fall into the pothead agenda. Absolutely, positively no pussy music allowed.

There will be no Phish, Grateful Dead-esque music. That’s right. No Janis Joplin, Liz Phair or Paula Cole.

Now, if you like that whole Lilith Fair type of sound, then it’s your prerogative. That is what is so great about music. To each their own, right?

I mean, I don’t have to answer for your musical inadequacies. It’s not my job if you can’t decide what is a good tune and what is anti-male lesbian trash.

And what is the deal with Lilith Fair and this whole female musical rising? Don’t get me wrong, I’m down with a good-looking chick with attractive breasts (ISU Committee on Women should notice the proper use of the word “breasts” in place of “hooters”) singing a rockin’ song.

There are women out there who are doing it. Examples would be Cycle Sluts From Hell, Drain S.T.H., L7 and Human Waste Project.

Then there are these male-bashing, lesbian warrior types that want to kill anything with a penis and who are ready to take the musical world over.

I recently saw an interview with Courtney Love in which she kept preaching that the reign of male domination in music is over and that female rock bands are the future of music and that all males should just deal with it.

My question is simple: Why do I have to deal with it? Why should I care?

I’ve never really attached a male/female view to viable music. A good song is a good song.

So then these male-hating freaks got together for the Lilith Fair. A fair that would only support female musical acts. Hmm. How nice.

What if Ozzy Osbourne’s festival, OzzFest, was billed only with bands with members who do not have vaginas. The male-bashing world would be lit up. Ozzy would once again be crucified.

I went to Ozzfest last year and enjoyed shows by Drain S.T.H, an all-woman band, and Coal Chamber, which has a female bass player.

The difference is that Drain S.T.H. and Coal Chamber have music good enough that they don’t need to make an issue out of gender. They make their statements with their music, not a vagina party that costs 40 bucks at the door.

I give props to all the female performers in the world who spend their time and efforts on making viable music, rather than leaning on the crutch of sexism.

In the meantime, have an Icehouse on me, get laid with a smile and never return the call.

We’ll talk later.

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Chad Calek is a senior in journalism and mass communication from Persia.