Rating: R

N: Nudity

SC: Strong sexual content

AL: Adult language

AC: Adult content

Viewer discretion advised.

If you’re wondering where and when this movie is running, it isn’t. A movie, I mean. But it is here and now, in this land of aMARYca. And for those who have seen the movie “Something about Mary,” you’ll know why I spelled America the way I did here. I’ll also tell you that this article was “inspired” (ugh!!) by this movie.

Once upon a time, before I came to aMARYca, in India, somebody told me that sex is the thing that’s on the minds of most Americans 75 percent of the time. The rest of the time, it’s elsewhere too (not just the mind). I, having been brought up on a steady diet of several Hollywood blockbusters, did not believe this, of course. I believed sex was on their minds and on their elsewhere too 100 percent of the time. And then I came to aMARYca.

Now, before I proceed further, let me give you a brief background of this movie “Something about Mary.” It’s about as good a mix of humor (??!!), vulgarity and double entendres as you can ever find. (Do I hear somebody calling me a prude?) It has also been touted as one of the funnier movies of recent times by several publications.

But the impression I got of aMARYca after I saw this movie was much the same as when it was just America to me.

And it has given me a reinforced image of America that is at once “not-leaving-a-good-taste-in-the-mouth” and incomprehensible.

What is this obsession with sexual matters that everyone in this country seems to have?

It seems to permeate every pore of every person, at least in the younger generation.

Not to mention every field of activity.

Why, from the nation’s first, shall we say, gentleman, and people’s obsession with his sexual activities, to the student at school and university, there just doesn’t seem to be another topic that can catch and hold the attention of the average man on the street better.

A friend of mine recently gave me these thought-provoking insights into male psychology in this country.

Here’s a list of “What a man says (to somebody he’s interested in, in you know what sense), and what he means,” excerpted from what he told me.

What he says: Hi!

What he means: I’d like to have sex with you.

What he says: Would you like to go out with me sometime?

What he means: So that I could eventually have sex with you sometime.

What he says: We could have dinner, and then I could drop you off at your apartment.

What he means: And then I could maybe have sex with you.

What he says: You look beautiful tonight.

What he means: I’d love to have sex with you tonight.

What he says: So you can’t come out on Saturday?

What he means: So I guess that rules out sex with you on Saturday.

And so on.

At the risk of inviting the wrath of members of the other gender also, I’d say that my friend was decidedly sexist in his views.

I mean, I think all this would apply as well to the girls as to the guys.

And then, with sex on their minds so much of the time, you’d think people would be potent enough to blow out an entire army or something.

But there’s still the inexplicable craving and craze for something like Viagra (even with the increased incidence of headaches among women just when their men are reaching out for the wonderdrug. “Not now, darling. I’ve got a headache.”)

All these thoughts bring some questions to my mind.

If sex is on the minds of its people all the time, how has aMARYca remained America?

On the other hand, if it has been the virility and fertility of American people that has been the radix of success of this great country, why hasn’t any other country been able to emulate them? Or is it just my way of thinking?

I guess I won’t be able to understand it unless I become an aMARYcan myself.

Until then, I can only say “There’s something about aMARYca.”

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Narayan Devanathan is a graduate student in journalism and mass communication from Hyderbad, India.