You’d better swallow a tranquilizer and sit down for this. It’s another Madonna controversy.

Some of the late Princess Diana’s more prudish mourners are in a minor tizzy over Mother M’s newest video, claiming that its portrayal of Madonna imitating Di tests the boundaries of good taste and propriety. By some accounts, Madonna’s timing bends the rules of post-mortem etiquette. It’s just too soon.

According to the New York Daily News, the forthcoming video for “(Drowned World) Substitute for Love,” which was recently filmed in England, depicts Madonna in the same position as the late princess, being chased by paparazzi. The video also shows her watching Di’s funeral and hurriedly exiting a hotel through a horde of paparazzi, attempting to escape in a limo.

In an effort to defend Madonna, her publicist, Liz Rosenberg, told the Daily News, “There’s nothing about Princess Diana in the video. This is about Madonna’s relationship to fame. There are paparazzi in the video. But it’s not like Madonna hasn’t had experience with them. It’s a day in the life of Madonna.” Rosenberg fails to address the issue of why footage of the princess’ funeral appears in the video.

Madonna obviously intended some sort of connection.

Still, she hasn’t ever consulted Miss Manners in the past; why should she fret over formalities now? In any case, weren’t all guidelines for appropriately mourning the princess obliterated when Di Beanie Babies went on the market last summer?

Di’s misty-eyed mourners should be more worried about Prince William’s encounter with Camilla Parker Bowles. Now there’s a breach of post-mortem etiquette that would make anyone drop a china teacup.

The very thought of the poor, innocent prince in the same room with that beastly woman ought to burn Britain’s biscuits. Di’s devotees can take comfort in the fact that Madonna at least has had the good grace to wear a lot of black these days — tacky or tasteful, her heart must be in the right place.

Incidentally, Madonna might consider replacing her staff of personal shoppers. The Stevie Nicks look is getting a little out-of-hand. That whole thing was completely over when Courtney Love began her sabbatical leave from making the next Hole album.

It’s over, Madonna. Over!

Of course, Mother M has been known for her occasional lapses in judgment where issues of personal style are concerned, but she had been improving by leaps and bounds, especially throughout the entire “Evita” media-hype spectacle. She dressed beautifully during the months before she gave birth to little Lourdes, too, demonstrating that pregnancy and Prada make a fine match.

Then came her performance on “The Rosie O’Donnell Show” this spring. She put on a mystical crown-of-thorns routine that truly stank up the bathroom. After more than a decade of chemically-damaged hair and plasticity, it’s a little late for her to strike an earth-mother pose. It isn’t as if she gave birth in a teepee surrounded by a coven of midwives.

This trail of missteps clearly leads to one sad destination: the autumn of Madonna’s career. It’s no big surprise. She will turn 40 next month, after all. Reigning queen of white disco pop she may be, but recent pictures of her in Rolling Stone suspiciously echo images of Cher in some of her slinky genie costumes.

Here come the face-lifts. It had to happen sooner or later.

Her ballads have already retired to the geriatric realm of adult contemporary radio. But one would hope that she might choose growing old gracefully over genie costumes and gypsy capes.

Regarding this petty little controversy over resurrecting the tragedy of Princess Di’s death in her new video, timeliness is hardly the issue. Mourners of the late princess should be far more concerned over Madonna’s motives. It seems rather self-aggrandizing for Mother M to elevate herself to Di’s level for no other reason than to show all the little people what a pain paparazzi can be.

If Madonna wishes to redeem herself, she should take a lesson from Elton John and donate some of the proceeds from her new single to help land mine victims in Cambodia — and she should ditch the dumb mystical act before she turns 40.

She was so much more fun when she was posing nude in public and splaying her legs in shiny latex pants.

Whatever happened to the good old days when she knew how to dish up a real controversy?

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Tom Owings is a graduate student in English from Ames. He is the opinion editor of the Daily.