Letter to the Editor

Quick E of the Day

“Raef LaFrentz may have gone third in the draft, but he’s still a traitor because he left Iowa for Kansas.”

Junior

Exercise and sport science

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“OK, I like big men as much as the next person, but where are all the guys who like full-figured, beautiful women??? I am sick of all the guys being interested in these anorexic, waif chicks who need to eat something desperately!”

Junior

Biology

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“OK here it is: After careful consideration and hours of exhausting research I come to the not surprising conclusion, that is, AMES PAINS!”

Junior

Meteorology

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“I just love Monica Lewinsky’s new do. I’ve heard that semen works well as a high-protein conditioner. We should all be so lucky to have such presidential treatment!”

Freshman

English

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“What are all of these little brats doing in the Friley Hall cafeteria? I feel like I’m attending a summer camp for junior high kids.”

Sophomore

Biology

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“First, the parking lot. Second, the water gets shut off. Next, they can make Buchanan residents sleep outside. When will all the inconveniences end?”

Graduate student

Industrial engineering

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“I like the idea of turning Catt Hall into a whorehouse. But there aren’t enough good-looking women in Ames to work there. We’ll have to recruit from other schools.”

Sophomore

Civil engineering

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“What Campustown needs is a good juice bar that plays some really good techno.”

Freshman

Undeclared

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E-mail one-sentence Quick Es to [email protected]. edu with “Quick E” as the subject. Include year in school and major. All Quick Es will be anonymous.