Father’s Day offers a chance to honor loved ones

Adrian De Vore

Mother’s Day was a few weeks ago, when we took time out to honor our moms.

Next Sunday, we will do the same thing again when we pay homage to our dads, by showing an extraordinary amount of caring plus giving back the love he has brought into our lives on Father’s Day.

Some of us have positive relationships with our fathers, while others do not.

Fathers can even adapt themselves to many different roles according to the nature of the family.

Just like a man can become a father, so can a woman when she is solely left with the responsibility of being both a mom and dad to her children.

Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and siblings can also evolve into extended parental figures when the primary family unit has broken down into fragmented pieces.

Stepfathers are also considered fathers by marrying into a kinship with children, which immediately creates a “blended” or “instant” group.

Peer relationships (in social or workplace settings) are equally viewed as a community by seeking others whose overall similarities closely reflect our biological families.

We tend to find the solace of fathers in drawing upon religious symbols for guidance and inspiration for protection from the unfavorable elements.

Again, there are numerous variations for fathers which can be easily interpreted.

Father’s Day is more than sending a card or a present that dad might not even remember the following year. It is more than that simple phone call to wish him a “Happy Father’s Day” to understand the truest meaning of a father-child relationship.

The development of a newly created one or rebuilding another one that was previously fractured can be started anytime, since a father’s love for his children can be carried through an entire lifetime.

Time individually spent by fathers with their children can grow into a significant relationship, which is later indescribably priceless.

You ask me how should I relate to that special kind of father-child relationship, because I have one of those unique affinities with my Dad.

My dad (as well as my mom) and I have a good alliance with each other because we have a lot of similarities in looks and personalities and differences in politics.

I even obtained my English degree from the same university he went to (but graduated more than 30 years earlier with a degree in journalism) where we both became staff writers on the same campus newspaper during our after-class hours.

He is a primary link to an earlier time in which African-Americans did not have the same advantages as whites in obtaining a better quality of life.

From the only boy who grew up in the middle of New Jersey with three sisters, he was taught from an early age by both of his parents not to disrespect women under any circumstances. It was a hard lesson that remained with him up to the present day.

His coming of age (along with Mom’s) was during the “silent generation” of the 1950s, where everything stayed rigidly structured with no deviations whatsoever.

Even something like going to college for young African-Americans in that era was a further uphill battle, since affirmative action programs or broader financial aid options were not even thought of back then. He was among an extremely small number of African-American students who were admitted into the university and later graduated.

Growing from a “conformist” in his youth to a “nonconformist” in his adulthood, he taught me so much because he chose to become a part of my life despite being divorced from my mom. He could have done, a “Biological Didn’t Bother…” by dropping out of the family picture when I was very young but didn’t.

For that action alone, I can’t thank him enough.

He also encouraged (at times pushing) me to grow into my individualized person while having a strong passion for following through my own dreams.

Father’s Day, in whatever design, should be enjoyed by all families everywhere. Make a phone call, share some laughs, give gifts, spend time together and mainly: be connected.


Adrian De Vore is a senior in hotel, restaurant and institution management from Newark, N.J.