Bonjour, friendly folks. Last week I was picking up a few things at Kmart near South Duff when they announced a special on cheeseburger baskets.

Nostalgia hit me as I remembered the “blue light specials” of yesteryear. I quickly made my way to The Islander Cafe in the corner of the store and ordered a cheeseburger and fries with a medium drink on special for a mere $1.99.

The cheeseburger was pretty darn tasty and the fries were wonderful. We’re talking tastier than your average fast-food joint.

My only complaint about the $2 meal was the carry-out box they served it in.

Seriously, folks, somebody needs to call the E.P.A. because Kmart is still using the archaic, giant styrofoam boxes that look like they’d last through an atomic bomb attack.

Nevertheless, my meal left me very satisfied. Reminiscent of growing up with the world’s strangest father, eating at Kmart brought back many childhood memories.

You see, every Sunday after church, different members of my family used to take turns choosing where to eat lunch.

Every fourth week Dad prided himself on finding the most obscure eating establishments imaginable, like the hospital cafeteria. One of his personal favorites, however, was the Kmart cafeteria.

Now, try as I might, I just could not persuade anybody to go back to Kmart with me. I even offered a free corn dog.

Besides corn dogs, The Islander Cafe offers grilled sandwiches, salads, subs and hot dogs. It was the Little Caesars Pizza display that held my attention, however.

I ordered a combo that included eight pieces of Crazy Bread, Crazy Sauce, a six-inch pepperoni pizza and a medium drink (with free refills) for $3.49. (With food that cheap, I felt like I was back in Vegas.)

OK — about the drink. The young guy behind the counter was nice enough to substitute a Cherry Snow icee for my drink. You remember Icees, right? Good stuff.

It was weird though, because the Cherry Snow icee was white in color, so it was psychologically a little difficult to enjoy. (Maybe I’ll order the blue raspberry next time.)

While waiting for my pizza to come out of the oven, I had time to take in the atmosphere, or in this case, lack thereof. I was there at peak dinner time, but there were plenty of vacant, and surprisingly clean, turquoise and white booths.

I sat in the no-smoking section by the white railing and pretended I was on a cruise ship.

So, did I feel like I was on a paradise island? Heck, no. But you know what? For $4.75 for my entire meal, it wasn’t that bad at all.

Five short minutes later my pizza was brought out to me. Yeah, about that … it was very disappointing. There wasn’t enough sauce nor pepperonis, and the cheese was rubbery and, well, gross.

I didn’t even want to finish the whole pizza. Luckily, the warm, buttery, mouth-watering Crazy Bread more than made up for the lackluster pizza.

At 99 cents for a single scoop, The Islander Cafe offers eight flavors of hard ice cream.

On the advice of the ever-helpful counter guy, I shied away from a scoop of Superman ice cream and went with the boring, but delicious cookies and cream.

Not only did the guy put a huge scoop on top, but he packed my sugar cone full of the cold concoction as well. Awesome.

My review would be incomplete without mention of the restrooms. Although I never actually went inside, I know them well.

You see, the biggest complaint I have of Kmart’s cafe is the location in the store. From where I was sitting, I had a clear shot of the restrooms.

Everytime somebody went in or came out of the facilities, I couldn’t help but lose my appetite. Yeah, it was kinda nasty.

All in all though, dinner wasn’t that bad. If you owe somebody lunch, I highly suggest treating them do a meal at The Islander Cafe in Kmart.

Maybe I’ll take my dad’s advice and head to the hospital cafeteria next week. Any volunteers?

3 stars out of five

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Kim Zangger is a senior in advertising from Mt. Vernon.