Masculine: “of men or boys,” also “suitable to or having qualities regarded as typical of men; strong, vigorous, manly, etc.” I took this definition from Webster’s New World Dictionary, but it is missing a few important aspects of masculinity.

Masculine men, or “real” men, as you might know them, are aggressive and strong, yes. In addition, however, they maintain control, they provide for their families, and they drink beer. Lots of it. They have sex. Lots of it. Often, they carry guns.

Am I right? Is that definition not similar to the one the two boys in Jonesboro had when they opened fire on their peers?

The Jonesboro catastrophe, along with three experiences I had, made me think about my own definition of masculinity.

First of all, I took a phone call a few weeks ago. I don’t know who was on the other end of the line, but she asked to speak to “the male head of the household.” After a moment of stunned silence, I said, “There is no male head of the household,” and hung up on her.

I wonder what percentage of the people she reached responded that they did have a male head of the household? Even if an adult man and an adult woman live in the house, the head of the household is not necessarily the man. Some households have either a female head of the household, or no “head” at all. But, of course, any real, masculine man would surely be the head of his household. Therefore, she was probably fairly successful in her search.

The second incident unfolded the other day on my way to class. I was walking down Ash Avenue, and as I reached the intersection of Ash and Lincoln Way, a nice boy asked me if I would like an escort across the street. My first reaction was to say, “I can make it on my own,” but something stopped me.

I felt that he was well-meaning and sincere. I didn’t take the time to find out if he helps people navigate through traffic on a regular basis, or what his motive was exactly. Since his friend was escorting another girl at the same time, I thought that perhaps he didn’t want me to feel left out of the loop. Maybe it is their own little community service project, or maybe they were trying to pick up chicks. (Better luck next time, if that was the case, but nice try.) I prefer to think that they were just being nice. Gentlemanly, one might say. Manly. Masculine.

The third incident took place during my sociology class. Greg Peters, graduate student in sociology, gave a guest lecture on the subject of — you guessed it — masculinity. He discussed two kinds of masculinity and their relationship to sustainable and industrial agriculture in Iowa. I found his lecture very interesting and thought-provoking.

I wonder, if masculinity is defined as one who exhibits characteristic of men and boys, doesn’t that apply to all men and boys? Or are “regular” men the only ones who get to consider themselves masculine? It’s true that men can be feminine in nature or have some feminine qualities. I would argue, however, that all men have some sense of masculinity. Unfortunately, I sense that masculinity today includes the exhibition of only those behaviors deemed suitable to men.

Drinking alcohol is definitely suitable for men, according to the advertisements for Jim Bean whiskey in magazines. The current slogan reads, “Get in touch with your masculine side.” I didn’t know masculinity has a correlation with whiskey drinking. Silly me.

Chivalry is suitable, and putting bread on the family table is suitable. I do not oppose either of these things, as long as they are not the only suitable actions men can take.

In order to retain some sense of balance in this column, I asked a certain man how he defines masculinity. I won’t be able to do his answer justice, but he said something along the lines of “masculinity has to do with capitalizing on the differences between men and women.”

I beg to differ. Masculinity is not about difference. It’s not about money, chivalry, guns, or whiskey. It is about being a man, and by that I mean whatever man you are or choose to be.

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Catherine Conover is a senior in liberal studies from Mapleton.