Bonjour, friendly folks. An old high school friend of mine came to visit last weekend. Friday night we were reminiscing about our senior year foods class and got a craving for our favorite assignment — Red Lobster rolls.

You know what I’m talking about: the warm, delicious, buttery, fresh-baked, Cheddar Bay Biscuits Red Lobster is so famous for. So, we grabbed another friend and drove to Duff.

Now, you can tell you’re at a kinda fancy place because they have a person whose sole purpose is to open the door for you. Very impressive, indeed.

In retrospect, I think she was stationed at the door to guard the lobsters from the people like me who want to liberate the rubber-banded crustaceans and give them a happier life.

And there are people like the stupid (pardon my French) frat boys who were pestering the lobsters so much that the hostess finally came over and took a lobster out of the tank for them to touch.

What is it about me and being seated by the restrooms? Come on, it seems to happen to me more often than not.

That’s all right though, our glassed-in, extra-large, curved booth made me feel like I was riding on a ship of some sorts. The “authentic” fisherman photos and dark green fish upholstery added to the nautical appeal.

Our very friendly server promptly came over and took our drink orders.

Now, I took the Veishea pledge way back last semester and knew that I had to be good. Therefore, I ordered a non-alcoholic Electric Lemonade for $2.99. The blue-raspberry added a kick to my otherwise mediocre lemonade.

My friends ordered the $5.99 Lobster Stuffed Mushrooms for an appetizer. I took one bite and remembered why I didn’t want to order them. Call me finicky, call me a land lover, just please call me…

But seriously folks, I have never, ever liked seafood. My psychiatrist has helped me trace my fear back to the time I unknowingly ate a fish stick, thinking it was a cheese stick.

But I digress. The point is, I ordered chicken. Dockside Shrimp & Chicken for $9.50, more specifically.

My dinner included several tender shrimp baked in a saucy wine and garlic butter sauce and a grilled chicken breast served with your choice of cole slaw, house Caesar or garden salad, plus a choice of fresh veggies, white cheddar mashed potatoes, baked potato, French fries or saffron rice.

I went with a garden salad (with ranch dressing, of course) and cheddar mashed potatoes. Both were very delicious.

The law of diminishing returns kicked in on the Red Lobster rolls; the second basket wasn’t nearly as enjoyable as the first. But not to worry — our meals were quickly served.

The chicken was marinated well and was nice and juicy. It was really delicious, like it has been every time I’ve ordered grilled chicken at Red Lobster.

I was just about ready to try shrimp when my friend said, “Remember how cute they were in ‘The Little Mermaid?'” Enough of that, but I did try a bite of my friend’s lobster pizza. Didn’t like it — but then, it was probably just me.

The three of us had a very good time, especially my friend who left with a waiter’s phone number.

Honestly, my only complaint about dining at Red Lobster (other than knowing that lobsters were being boiled alive as we ate) was the fishy smell. Ever been to Fisherman’s Wharf in California? It’s a lot like that.

Check out www.redlobster.com for more information.

4 1/2 stars out of five

---

Kim Zangger is a senior in advertising from Mt. Vernon.