The animal rights group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has a new spokesperson. It’s an interesting choice, since I never knew he was a vegetarian. Their new spokesperson: Jesus Christ.

I am absolutely telling the truth. PETA announced recently that they believed Jesus was the first true vegetarian and claimed that use of animals for human purposes was unholy. Their argument: Jesus’ promotion of baptism instead of pagan animal sacrifice, and Jesus’s eating fish at the Last Supper indicates he is the first true animal rights activist.

Thus, they will promote Jesus as a proponent for PETA. Despite the organization’s claims, I couldn’t totally confirm the partnership, since Jesus wasn’t available for comment.

They might as well open a new office in Nazareth and stage protests against the exploitation of animals by Jesus’s followers. After all, some of them were shepherds.

This is just another example of how ridiculous the tactics of the left-wing radicals at PETA are. For years, they have supported harassing, boisterous, and sometimes even violent demonstrations in support of animal rights. These demonstrations range from throwing red paint on a fur coat (while someone is still wearing them, mind you) to terrorist attacks on medical research clinics that use animals for testing.

One example of this behavior took place at the Iowa State Fair a few years ago. PETA publicly warned fair officials there would be large protests against their event’s primary focus on animal slaughter. They followed through on those promises. During the fair, a protester threw pies in the face of the Iowa Pork Queen, who we all know was directly to blame for the slaughter of millions of pigs and cows.

About a year later, a PETA protester donned a carrot costume and paced the sidewalk outside Park Avenue Elementary School in Des Moines, handing out pamphlets to small children (read: harassing small children) on why they shouldn’t eat meat.

Even their advertising campaigns border on the tasteless. A few years ago, second-rate music singer k.d. lang helped PETA launch the “Meat Sucks” campaign. That kind of a positive message is sure to get the point across. Now comes the blasphemous idea that they can use Jesus as a figurehead for their radical organization.

Despite their shouts for animal rights, PETA activists seem to have little or no concern for the rights of humans to live freely. Steve Knott, an owner of a small grocery store in Greenwood, Ind., was shocked to find his store vandalized by members of the Animal Liberation Front on June 7 of last year (Source: Indianapolis Star).

The ALF is a violently militant organization, which is also aligned with PETA. PETA claims they are not associated with ALF, yet through their Activist Defense Fund helped donate almost $42,000 to help pay for the legal fees of ALF member Rodney Coronado. He was the man convicted in 1995 of firebombing an animal research lab at Michigan State University, causing $100,000 in damage. When police were conducting the investigation, they found evidence in Coronado’s apartment belonging to PETA co-founder Alex Pacheco (Source: Bend, Ore. Bulletin).

Despite their claims to the contrary, PETA’s donations to the defense of ALF members gives implicit approval to their actions. Many of PETA’s officers state that the members of ALF are heroes. Much like Sinn Fein is the political front to the Irish Republican Army, PETA acts as the political front for ALF.

As far as animal rights are concerned, I agree with those who want animal testing of cosmetic products banned and wanted the infamous Cat Killers of Fairfield to see jail time.

For me, that’s where animal rights end. Animals are not able to control their instincts, nor are they able to think rationally. Man evolved from animals, and for that reason, are part of the food chain.

Animals provide sustenance for millions of people and provide necessary proteins and amino acids that the body needs to be healthy. Animal testing has allowed science to win significant victories against diseases that have claimed millions of lives.

Obviously, everyone has their opinion on what is and isn’t acceptable in the arena of “animal rights.” We live in a free country, and you have the right to your opinion. That does not extend however, to the right to force your opinion onto someone else. This is the objective of PETA.

For those of you who support PETA’s radical promotion of vegetarianism and animal rights, I ask you this: Do the rights of your precious animals outweigh the rights of human beings who can think, reason and communicate?

If so, maybe you should go live with the animals.

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Robert Zeis is a senior in finance from Des Moines.