Move over all those who have hired Puff Daddy. The next assurance to becoming a celebrity has blossomed — presidential fellatio.

Rumors are circulating on the handful of Monica Lewinsky fan club Web sites that the former White House intern has been offered a very large amount of money to pose nude in an upcoming issue of Playboy.

It has not been reported whether she will accept the offer, but assuming little Monica has hired a publicity manager with an ounce of intelligence, she is well on her way to becoming the next Jenny McCarthy.

If Lewinsky has yet to hire a publicity manager, I have two words for Washington D.C.’s most famous mistress — Corey Moss.

Ahh yeah. If the Moss Pit can resurrect the Ice Man with a few simple columns, think what I could do for Monica.

Here’s a taste of my Monica marketing plan:

Playboy … $50,000 and it’s a done deal. Then, it’s on to Penthouse, Hustler and every other smut mag with a buck.

Of course, I’d have to come up with a clever nickname for my new project, you know, the kind of name you see in strip club adds.

Now appearing at Blondies: Electronica Monica. Luscious Lewy. Monica Boombonica. Clinton’s inTurn. Whoremonica.

Once the name is established, Monica will follow in the footsteps of the legendary John Wayne Bobbit and make her porn film debut.

But the Monica marketing plan will service more than just the dirty old man demographic. We’re talking the typical American family (two-and-a-half kids and all).

Monica’s next appearance will be in one of those milk mustache adds next to the words “Yes, this is milk” or “Socks and I shared a glass of milk every morning during my stay at the White House.”

Her next venture will be the celebrity golf circuit where she will be paired with a different man every week. Tabloids will eat this up with headlines like “Monica wins with Woods” or “Monica blows Fuzzy’s lead.”

Another circuit Monica will frequent is the ever-so-popular daytime talk show.

While Oprah and the others will get a taste of her, Monica will spend most of her time as a regular on “Jerry Springer,” starring in such episodes as “My sister is jealous because I gave the president fellatio” and “My boyfriend is mad because I changed my name to Monica Boombonica.”

But trash TV won’t end with “Jerry Springer.” Monica will become the newest member of WCW’s New World Order and will team up with Dennis Rodman and Mike Tyson for a celebrity tag team match against Hanson.

During the middle of the match, Monica will turn against her evil teammates and lead the brothers to victory. In celebration, the new friends will dance around the mat singing “MMM Bill.”

Record producers will hear Monica singing and decide to make her a recording star.

After a few records and a headlining slot on the Lilith Fair, Monica will give up her solo career to become the sixth member of The Spice Girls — White House Spice.

And people call Vanilla Ice a media whore.

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Corey Moss is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Urbandale.