As the situation in Iraq continues to escalate, America is embroiled in the discussion of nuclear war.

But what would happen if a U.S. city was the target for Iraqi terrorists?

Could Ames ever be the site of a nuclear attack?

According to Larry Harris, the Lancaster, Ohio, man charged with possessing Anthrax near Las Vegas, that scenario almost took place.

“You had a nice little clandestine operation that took place in your area,” Harris told the Ames Tribune.

He said terrorists disguised as Iowa State students were about to spread anthrax, which is a deadly germ, throughout Ames. At the last moment, federal agents halted the plan, according to Harris.

The idea of an chemical or biological attack on Ames is quite chilling. Or is it?

If you think about it, there are many problems at Iowa State and in Ames that would be instantly solved.

With no more officers, DPS will no longer be able to issue tickets to you if you park on campus. Unfortunately, we believe DPS also has an emergency contingency to wear gas masks in case of attack. After all, the power of the university to write parking tickets must be preserved.

Because of lack of students, the LAS and Engineering Colleges will be forced to close their doors. The brief silence in the Great Engineering-LAS Quick e Debate will soon be replaced by Business vs. Agriculture: “Who is the Laziest?”

Students living in dorms will no longer be harassed by the infamous “shower peeker.”

The September 29th Movement, now that all of their leaders have been silenced, will be permitted to meet with the new president of the university. Unfortunately, because of a little-known rule of succession in the faculty constitution, the new Iowa State President will be Michael Simonson.

Chemical warfare is no laughing matter. Thousands of people die at the hands of this kind of weapon.

But isn’t Harris’ conspiracy theory a little bit laughable? After all, if you were a terrorist about to unleash weapons of mass destruction to “get even” with the U.S., would you chose Ames?

After Harris heard authorities denied that any such attack had been planned or subsequently stopped by authorities, Harris said that didn’t surprise him.

Paging Fox Mulder…