In light of the recent allegations of rape in a fraternity system, I felt it might be helpful to share information on how to avoid blaming rape victims. The comments that follow apply to both male and female rape victims, but gendered references will be made according to the prevalence of female victims and prevalence of male perpetrators, regardless of sex of victim.

Why do victims blame themselves?

1) To believe that she can do something different the next time to protect herself — to gain a sense of safety and control. After all, if I can believe that I can dress or walk or do something differently, then I may feel more in control of future possibilities.

2) A prior trauma or problem that sets a woman up to think negatively about herself.

3) Buying into the assumption that it’s a woman’s responsibility to fend off an attacker, rather than the attacker’s responsibility to treat her with respect.

4) Significant others convey that they think it was her fault.

Why do outsiders blame the victim?

1) To deal with the pain of seeing her in pain, significant others in particular may want to believe that there is something the victim can do to prevent such hurt in the future. They also are angry and the victim is usually more available to be the target of the anger.

2) To reduce the fear that we are similar to the victim and therefore could be equally vulnerable, as the victim was.

3) To maintain a belief in a fair world to increase our sense control over our lives, thus the attitude: “She must have deserved it.”

4) When we already know the outcome of an event, it’s tempting to think the participants should have been able to foresee the outcome and avoid it.

5) We put the burden of responsibility on women to foresee and avoid rape because we assume it is easier to control women’s behavior than men’s sexual aggressiveness.

6) People make the false assumption that the more pre-rape social contact a woman has with a person, the more likely it is that she wanted sex or consented in some way.

While there are many reasons that the victim or others may be motivated to blame her, victim blaming is simply wrong. Self-blame is damaging to the survivor, and can result in depression, anxiety and sexual dissatisfaction. A way to get around the self-blaming reaction is to emphasize the difference between the past and the future. A survivor should be reassured that she did the best she could in dealing with a past assault, but should also be taught about how to handle future safety concerns. Currently, there is a 40 percent chance that she will be revictimized if she receives no help. A woman can never totally “prevent” rape, so it is not the fault of the victim if she is assaulted, but we hope that we can “reduce the odds” of assaults with good information and self-defense skills.

To encourage confidence about the future without self-blaming, it is important to foster an external locus of responsibility and an internal locus of control. Locus of responsibility refers to who is to blame for an event in the past, while locus of control refers to who has control over future events. Box C represents the healthiest attitudes toward a past sexual assault. Boxes A, Dand B represent attitudes that are more likely to lead to depression and anxiety, especially B.

Another way to shift perspective is to look at the difference between who is responsible for the problem (the perpetrator) and who is responsible for the solution (the survivor must pursue recovery).

To foster an external locus of responsibility:

• Learn about the rape culture that promotes rape

• See yourself as having experienced a part of a “universal” problem, rather than that you are uniquely vulnerable. This goal is best achieved in group therapy with other survivors.

• Remember that the rapist initiated and completed the assault — it was entirely dependent on his actions; no action on the part of someone justifies forced sexual activity.

Men can choose to not force sex regardless of sexy clothing or any other stimulus — humans have the capacity to be self-determining, and any other view degrades men to the level of reflexive animals.

To foster an internal locus of control:

1) Learn accurate information about risk factors:

• Alcohol consumption on the part of victim or perpetrator increases chance of sexual assault.

• You are more vulnerable on the man’s turf: his car, apartment, dorm room, fraternity house.

• Acquaintance rape is more likely than stranger rape.

2) Learn self-defense skills:

• Training is offered by B.R.A.V.E. in Des Moines, (515)277-5546. They will do programming on campus for groups.

• Women who use one self-defense strategy have a 63 percent chance of escaping a rapist. Women who use two self-defense strategies have a 78 percent chance of escaping. Women who fight back also decrease their chances of serious physical injury. There is no difference in these statistics if the perpetrator uses a weapon. Women who plead with their attackers increase their chances of rape and serious physical injury. (Sorry, I don’t have statistics on male self-defense.)

• One-half of one percent (.05 percent) of reported rapes end in murder so people do not have to submit for fear of loss of life.

3) Get involved in social/political action.

Seek support from trained counselors

Eliminating self-blame is best done with the help of a trained supportive listener. Student Counseling Service and ACCESS (Assault Care Center Extending Shelter and Support) have a variety of free services to support your or a friend’s recovery from sexual assault. Call Student Counseling at 294-5056 or come to the 3rd Floor Student Services Building during our business hours: Monday—Thursday, 8 a.m – 8 p.m.; Friday, 8 a.m. – 5 p.m.; or call ACCESS 24 hours a day at 232-5418 for more information.

Don’t Isolate Yourself

After you believe that you are not to blame, talk to friends and family that you have previously been reluctant to tell about your experience and feelings. The secret has probably caused a gap in intimacy or even isolation.

Clients of mine who have taken take this step report reduced shame and a greater sense of vitality gained through improved social connection and support.

My hope is that we all can provide a campus atmosphere that condemns sexual violence, not the victims.

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Suzanne Zilber, Ph.D. , is a counselor for Student Counseling Services at ISU.