If you aren’t a fan of Olympic competition, you should be. The Winter Games in Nagano, Japan, have been full of surprises, heroes and tests of athletic prowess that, outside of international competition, would be considered “weird.”

For example, traditionally one of the most interesting competitions in the Winter Games is the luge. The luge is exciting in that a human being actually lies down on a sled the size of a toaster oven and races down a track somewhat like what you would find in a waterpark, except that the slide is 2,000 feet tall and completely vertical.

As you may have seen, top speeds in the luge actually reach Mach 2. In fact, by my best estimates of the speed of the luge competition and my understanding of the movie “Back to the Future,” if you attached what is known as a “Flux Capacitor” to a luge sled and raced down the slope, when you finished the race you would be somewhere in 1903.

Only slightly less perilous than the luge is Alpine skiing. Alpine skiing is not like the kind of skiing you might see on the rolling hills of Iowa.

One event in Alpine Skiing popularized by American sensation Picabo Street is known as the “Super G,” which is actually just a slang word for “free fall.”

This event cannot be described with words except to say the best simulation would be to strap skis on your feet and jump off of the Sears tower. This is the only event known to man where the only physical activity involved is performed by gravity.

I’m not sure when or where “Super G” skiing became recognized as competition.

If you attached skis to a monkey and sent it hurtling down a sheer cliff, it would land at the bottom just as fast as some of today’s best skiers. However, the monkey would be smart enough to know never to do it again.

Of course, one of the newest and most exciting events in the Winter Olympics in 1998 is snowboarding. Snowboarding is not only interesting because of its uniqueness, but because of some of its native lingo.

For example, snowboarders might “shred” on a “half pipe”, where they get so “stoked” that they may have to go get “stoned” on “marijuana.”

Seriously, marijuana use seems to be a rising problem in the sport, as evidenced by the recent controversy with Canadian snowboarder Ross Rebagliati. Rebagliati tested positive for marijuana use after winning the sport’s first ever Olympic gold medal, and was stripped of his award.

His medal status was reinstated, however, after he successfully argued that marijuana-smoking Canadians are discriminated against. He noted to the IOC that “for years the Jamaicans have not only been allowed to compete, but have been featured in a major motion picture.”

And in one of the most recognized events in the winter games, the bobsled competition, the field is wide open once again. Any one of the three teams from Canada may win the gold.

As for Team USA, American Captain Casey Martin has yet to hear word from the IOC on whether or not he will be allowed to race down the bobsled course in a golf cart.

In conclusion, aside from all of the exciting news from the competition itself, in the true spirit of this international gathering some of the most interesting aspects of the Winter Olympics come not from the athletes, but from the cultural differences.

For example, male residents of Nagano have actually been asked to refrain from a cultural tradition of what is known here in America as “public urination.” Apparently, this sort of behavior is totally acceptable all the time in Japan (seriously).

Japanese officials have asked the general public to refrain from the practice so long as there are tourists in the area, lest the men of Japan seem uncivilized. This sort of behavior probably would seem uncivilized to us American men, where we have long known that this practice is best contained to the shoulders of public interstate highways

And that’s the news from the sight of the 1998 Winter Olympics in Nagano, Japan, where the entire world’s people have put aside their differences, shared their cultural identities, and in one unified voice have begun placing wagers on who will be the first skier to slip on a patch of yellow snow. Good luck, Picabo.

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Aaron Senneff is a senior in computer engineering from Bettendorf.