Bonjour friendly folks, and welcome to the semester’s first installment of the Brown Bag Review.

OK — now this is when I would normally start talking about a restaurant in Ames, but I thought I’d take a gamble this week and write about where I ate over break.

Shortly after Christmas two friends and I jumped in a car and started our long drive to exciting Las Vegas.

Grumbling stomachs woke us up the first morning so we made our way to the free continental breakfast our hotel advertised. Yeah, about that — continental breakfasts are generally nothing more than a cake donut and Tang. Pretty nasty (unless you’re an astronaut).

Sadly, I was in for an even greater disappointment. Figuring we’d be safe with a national chain, my roommate and I went to Pizza Hut for some breadsticks and spaghetti.

Now, we had a very, very bad experience and I could rant and rave my entire column’s worth, but I’m kinda afraid to because I’m pretty sure that “Don’t mess with Texas” is more a way of life than a slogan for the unfriendly folks in Amarillo.

Before you all start to feel too sorry for me, read on. The next day we drove through Stillwater, Okla., and dined at Eskimo Joe’s Cafe. Eskimo Joe’s claim to fame is that that they rank second only to Hard Rock Cafe in regards to people wearing their logo across their chests. Pretty cool, eh?

Not only did I jump on the bandwagon and buy a T-shirt, but I was also given a free, glow-in-the-dark souvenir drinking cup. Oh yeah — the food wasn’t too shabby either.

Well, we weren’t in Las Vegas yet; we still had to drive through Arizona and visit the Sundowner Retirement Mobile Home Court. My roommate’s grandparents live there and were excited to show us off at their bi-monthly potluck dinner. Yep, we were treated to goulash, hot-dishes, Jell-O concoctions and homemade pies — all served on elementary school hot lunch style plates.

The next evening the grandparents were kind enough to treat us to Organ Stop Pizza where I saw a man with the largest organ I’ve ever seen — but that’s not saying much.

He skillfully played a gigantic (and I’m not exaggerating here) organ as colorful lights and puppets responded to his music. The evening ended with another round of Sprite and an encore performance of “Phantom of the Opera.”

We met up with a friend of ours, who happens to be a former Daily cohort. He took us to Rosewood Grille — a very fancy steak and lobster house on the strip in Las Vegas.

Our friend began his meal by ordering wine; we began our meal by showing our IDs. I went on to order filet mignon and someone else ordered fish (just for the halibut).

Now, even though nobody ordered lobster at our table, our maitre d’ took us to the kitchen for a photo opportunity with their 12-pound lobster. They followed suit by giving all the ladies a rose after dinner — very impressive, indeed.

Now, a trip to Vegas without eating at a buffet is like John Wayne Bobbit — incomplete. We forked out $9.95 apiece and made our way through Excalibur’s medieval grand dinner buffet one “knight.”

Sadly it was time to head home. By the time we got to Albuquerque, N. M., we were all in the mood for pizza. Guess where we ended up? Are you ready for this — Peter Piper’s Pizza.

Think Chuck E. Cheeses in the ghetto. Take the games, for instance — instead of saving your tickets for toys and candy, you can aspire for a washing machine or a lawnmower. I kid you not, folks.

Well, just like my vacation, this review is over, but be sure to look for me next Thursday.

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Kim Zangger is a senior in advertising from Mt. Vernon.