Perfect without being any good

Mike Milik

Whether you love ’em or hate ’em , or publicly say you hate them but privately enjoy dancing around your apartment in your underwear while singing along to “Wannabe,” the Spice Girls are a verifiable singing sensation. (I don’t mean to imply that I, personally, dance and sing in my underwear to “Wannabe.” My favorite Spice Girls song is “Spice Up Your Life.”)

We all know their music, we all know their names. Let’s see, there’s Sporty Spice, Ginger Spice and, uh Sneezy Spice and Donner and Blitzen Spice.

Now, these five women have conquered the movies, bringing “Spice World” to the big screen. The question is, can the Spice Girls act? The answer is, no.

What they know how to do, though, is have good time. And how to wear really big shoes.

I went into “Spice World” expecting it to be, by definition, a “bad” movie.

Technically speaking, it’s absolutely horrible.

There’s next to no plot, at times it makes no sense whatsoever, and don’t forget the above mentioned acting abilities of the stars.

Surprisingly, though, it ends up being a relatively entertaining movie, due almost entirely to the Spice Girls themselves.

The movie opens, and we see the girls preparing for their first live concert ever. We follow them as they get ready for the big night, in sort of mock-documentary style. That’s it. That’s the plot.

There are a few side things happening, like a tabloid reporter trying to break the girls up or the pregnant friend of the group.

If you think that premise seems a little thin to keep a movie going for 90 minutes, you’re right. What we end with is the Spice Girls in one goofy situation after another.

The Spice Girls in the army. The Spice Girls in a speed boat. All the silly set ups are tied together by a trip in the magic tour bus and a few musical numbers.

The Spice Girls tour bus is an interesting thing, defying the very laws of physics. On the outside, it appears to a an ordinary double decker tour bus, painted on both sides with the British flag. Inside the bus, however, is absolutely huge.

Welcome to the magical world of Spice, kind of like the mystical world of Narnia. Oh, and the bus driver is Meatloaf.

The movie does an excellent job of showcasing all the girls and concentrating on them, which is fine. The girls are funny, full of energy and don’t seem to take themselves very seriously.

I think that is the secret to the Spice Girls success; before anyone can make fun of them, they do it themselves. That, and their almost illegally catchy pop songs.

There are a lot of very funny moments in the movie. I particularly enjoyed the spectacular bus-jump “special effects” scene near the close of the film. In fact, the whole last 20 minutes or so are riotously funny. Before that, though, there are several big dry spots where I wondered why I was watching this movie.

That’s the problem with “Spice World.” It’s wildly uneven. Even the energy of the Spice Girls can’t entirely save this picture. They can make it watchable, but can’t make it very memorable.

It almost succeeds in being a female, girl power update of the very funny “This is Spinal Tap,” but ultimately falls short.

There’s a line in the movie that sums up “Spice World” perfectly. While listening to the girls practice, someone says, “That was absolutely perfect, without actually being any good.”

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

3 stars out of five.


Mike Milik is a senior in advertising from West Des Moines.