Did you practice over break? Winter break’s a great time to relax and take it easy, to revel in having no classes to worry about, but you shouldn’t let it pass you by without getting some practice in. I know I did.

There’s a huge party coming up, you know, and you’d better be ready to let loose when it rolls around. If you haven’t prepared yourself, you could be in trouble.

I’m talking, of course, about the ultimate New Year’s Bash, which is only a few years away.

Really, if you think about it, every New Year’s party until then is really just practice, a dress rehearsal so that when the real event comes around, everyone will know exactly what do.

I expect everyone to be in top party form come the big night. Can you imagine how stupid you’ll look if you can’t get your little pointy hat on right on the first try? Don’t let it happen to you!

You know, there’s actually an entire group of people who’ve known that the new millennium is imminent, but somehow managed to overlook its significance. I’m talking about those wacky computer scientists who, despite being smarter than your average bear, apparently weren’t very forward looking.

They decided to use only two digits to indicate the year, and now everything from Veterans’ benefits to your credit history may go out of whack, because the computer might think that the double zeros mean 1900 rather than 2000.

One organization has estimated that the total cost of altering existing hardware and software to avoid the “Year 2000 Crisis” as roughly $30 billion (though no one who owns a Mac has to worry).

There are other problems with the dawn of the new millennium, though. For example, what do we call that first decade? The zeros? The ohs? Only time will tell.

Anyway, one thing to be aware of is that the hype about the Year 2000 Crisis, and the popularity of an old Prince tune, seem to have misled most everyone about this new millennium. Because, in truth, the new millennium doesn’t really begin until January 1, 2001.

It seems counter-intuitive, but it’s true. Let me explain. Even though we’re in the 1900s, the era we’re in is called the 20th century, right? That’s because the first 100 years were the first century, even though we hadn’t yet reached the 100s.

Similarly, just as there wasn’t any zeroth century, there was no zeroth year; things started in 1 A.D. (or, to be more politically correct, C.E.). Therefore, if a millennium is 1000 years, the first millennium spanned the years 1 to 1000 and the second stretches from 1001 to 2000. So put the confetti away, the party’s off for another year!

But really, we all know that most people aren’t aware of this wonderful little factoid, and only the truly anal — perhaps those computer scientists? — will insist on waiting until December 31, 2000 to begin ushering in the next 1000 years.

Personally, I don’t think we should let this “when does the next millennium start?” controversy ruin our fun. In fact, now that you know the next millennium doesn’t really start until 2001, you can use it to your advantage.

My suggestion: Celebrate the new millennium when 1999 comes to an end.

Then do it all over again the next year!

Ben Byrne is a junior in graphic design from Minneapolis