There’s nothing like the screeching of a scary movie to start off the semester. The blood, the guts, the gore — horror flick fans eat it up like a second helping of chicken fingers at food service.

Scary movies, the type of choice at your run-of-the-mill junior high school sleep over, are making a come back with “Scream 2.” Besides our seemingly gruesome fascination with death as entertainment, what exactly is the appeal of these scary movies, which, as we know, rarely are truly scary?

The first “Scream” movie and its sequel are a little bit better than the typical frightful flick, however. I think it’s because they poke a little fun at the rules of most scary movies. The characters in “Scream” discuss how whenever anyone goes off by themselves, runs up a staircase or into a dead end, takes off any clothing or is in any kind of romantic situation the audience can bid that character farewell because he or she is automatically done for.

It was refreshing for a horror movie to admit that most supposedly scary movies are just downright silly sometimes, since the plots are often easier to see through than the specters doing the haunting. They are predictable, usually unoriginal and fail to strike fear into the average person. Yet, something about them still draws us in.

Reason number one is the most obvious of the list. Of course there has to be some movie-watchers in the world who actually do get a white knuckle grip on their box of popcorn when Jason, Freddy or one of their frightening co-stars arrive on the scene. This gives the rest of us a chance to be tough. The macho instinct takes control, and we can protect our friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, little sister — whoever— with a comforting arm.

If you are of this personality, perhaps you are also the type to persuade your loved one to go on upside-down roller coaster rides and such just so you can give them a reassuring squeeze as he or she is screaming their intestines out. You sly dogs.

Reason number two — the plot of a typical horror film is usually pretty familiar: people get killed, suspects are identified, more people killed (including some suspects, which makes the process of elimination your biggest asset in nailing the villain), and finally, killer is stopped. Such a plot leaves plenty of room for the scriptwriters to work in a heck of a lot of stereotyped characters.

Despite lots of recent efforts to project an image of a non-alcoholic atmosphere, the Greek system took another hit. In the “Scream” sequel, sororities and fraternities both were portrayed as party headquarters. Hmmm. I can’t imagine where writers come up with these stereotypes, can you? “Scream” is certainly not the first movie to mock those folks of funny letters and shapes, and they will definitely not be the last.

The girls in the sorority house had well-manicured appearances and overdone hair and had drinks on the brain — as well as on the house for those they were trying to recruit into their clan of short-skirted sisters. The boys in the fraternity (yes, boys — men is way too generous a description) seemed focused on inebriation and punishing one of the guys in the house for giving away his necklace with his letters on it. Punishment is, without question, a huge party.

The media was also portrayed in the hound dog sort of way that they usually are in movies. One of the main characters, Courtney Cox, was particularly ruthless in getting her story, until the end when she finally softens up so there can be a little romance in the story line. (Not to worry, “Scream” didn’t dare stray far from the formula. In accordance with the rules of the scary movie game, she and her love interest were attacked as soon as they started kissing.)

As if the media’s story-hungry image wasn’t bad enough, the film has yet another reporter showing up with a definite hidden agenda. I refuse to say what — that would ruin the entire show for those who haven’t seen it yet. Anyway, the stereotypes were flowing as freely as blood from a gunshot wound in this movie.

Reason number three is the best explanation for why people are attracted to the scary movie scene. We all know that the bodies that fall, the guts that spill — it’s all just a movie. It’s not real. We can enjoy the feeling of fear because it’s fear that can never hurt us. Yes, there are such things as mass murders in the world, but rarely do we run into them in Ames, Iowa.

The scariest things are left to haunt us after we leave the theater.

Millions of people really do die every year, some to old age and others for unfortunate reasons. This past year alone the world has lost famous people like Jimmy Stewart, John Denver and Sonny Bono. Hundreds of people have lost people close to them — grandfathers, friends, wives, uncles. Every day there is a new way for people to die. AIDS, cancer, psychological troubles — everyone seems to have something they can’t run away from. The worry of who will be next scares me.

It seems like every time the weather gets bad, roads get icy and ditches get snowy, I read a heart-stopping story in the newspapers about someone who lost their life to a car accident. I’ve seen the way some of my friends and relatives drive — believe me, I worry. The thought of the people I know, love or just met yesterday getting into a fatal accident scares me.

Graduation is approaching. People are leaving, finding jobs, finding husbands, finding themselves. The idea that I have to leave the carefree student life to join the working world is an exciting thought, but at the same time a frightening one.

Last year a scientist figured out how to clone sheep. What if they start doing that with people? What if they have already and I just don’t know about it? This is something that should be happening in some kind of freak-out science fiction flick, not reality. Yet, it is reality and it horrifies me.

Rats. I hate rats! They are ugly and nasty and mean. I’m afraid of rats.

Isn’t it better to be shaking in your sneakers over a mass murderer costumed in a cape and mask rather than focus on real-life fears? Go ahead, get out there and get freaked out! Succumb to the cleansing process of being scared for a couple of hours, finishing up your popcorn and malted milk balls and going home — safe once again.

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Joanne Roepke is a senior in journalism and mass communication from Aurora.