Future hits and misses of the holiday movie season

Mike Milik

Yeah, like I had time to go see a movie this week. So instead of a review today — I’m going to do a preview.

Over 30 new major releases open up in the next month, eight on Christmas day alone. Some look like they’re worth seeing and some look so bad they may induce hemorrhaging.

We’ll start with the movies that look like they are worth seeing.

On top of this list is “Titanic” which opens Dec. 19. This has got to be the most anticipated film of the year. It’s been in the news for a long time with production delays, release date delays (it was originally set to sail in July) and the highest movie budget of all time.

Will it be worth the hype?

I think it looks like a phenomenal film. Director James Cameron knows how to make a tight, well-paced movie full of thrilling action. With him, you see every dollar of the film’s cost on the screen.

The only thing I’m a bit leery of is “Titanic” is mainly a romance story. So, is this a $200 million, three-hour-long chick flick? Still, this movie looks like the definition of the word epic. I hate to spoil the ending for you, but the ship sinks.

So far this year, “Scream” is the movie that has most pleasantly surprised me. I’ve never been a fan of slasher flicks, but “Scream” was a perfect example of the genre. It was clever, poked fun at itself and horror movies in general and, most importantly, it was a hell of a lot of fun.

“Scream 2,” which opens today, looks like it should be more of the same. Clever, frightening and fun. Plus, after finals week is over, I’m looking forward to watching a bunch of college coeds get hacked up.

I’m also looking forward to the live action version of “Mr. Magoo” (Dec. 25) for one reason; Leslie Nielsen in the title role. The movie looks kind of dumb, but Nielsen has been so hysterical in movies like “Airplane” and “Naked Gun” that “Mr. Magoo” will definitely provide some big laughs.

You’re probably still thinking, “Surely he can’t be serious about wanting to watch this movie.” Yes, I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.

On the flip side of movies I want to see in the coming weeks are a whole bunch of movies I’m glad I won’t have to see since the Daily isn’t published over break. I know I shouldn’t judge movies I haven’t seen, but I’m going to anyway.

On top of this list of movies to avoid (or bottoms, depending how you look at it) is “Home Alone 3” (Dec. 12). Is it just me, or does this basically look like a poorly done remake of the first one?

A cute little moppet is home and tries to keep bad guys from breaking into his house through a series of booby traps. There are scenes in the commercials that are exactly the same scenes from “Home Alone.”

Also, the production values look horrible in “Home Alone 3.” It has the look of a made-for-TV movie. Plus, if the cute kid is home with the chicken pox, why aren’t there any blotches on his face?

“An American Werewolf in Paris” (Dec. 25) looks to be a close second on my avoid-at-all-costs list. Have you seen the ads for this one? It just looks so bad. The werewolf special effects don’t even look close to realistic. They look almost cartoony.

Then there’s the Eiffel Tower scene. A woman jumps off the tower and a guy attached to a bungee cord jumps after her in an attempt to catch her. Let me explain a little concept called physics. See, a long time ago, some dude in Italy dropped a bunch of stuff off a crooked tower and found objects always fall with the same rate of acceleration. In other words, you aren’t catching her, Bungee-boy.

I’m also going to miss a movie I’m sure a lot of you are looking forward to, “Tomorrow Never Dies” (Dec. 19) What is this, the 70th or 80th movie in the James Bond series? Aren’t they all the same?

It seems every Bond movie I’ve ever scene follows exactly the same story line. Some madman has some whacked-out plot for world domination and agent 007 stops him just in time, bedding a bevy of beautiful babes along the way.

And T or Q or XXL (or whatever) always gives Bond a cool new gadget at the beginning of the movie that just happens to be the perfect gadget to foil the madman’s plot.

“Tomorrow Never Dies” does have one thing going for it: Teri Hatcher. (Insert that “woh-oh-oh” noise Homer Simpson makes every time he sees a doughnut here.)

So there you have it, my recommendations on what to see and what to miss. Do with them what you will.


Mike Milik is a senior in advertising from West Des Moines.