I will admit that the problem may be based upon my own bias. Maybe the rooster that attacked me on my Aunt Shirley’s farm in 1976 has something to do with it, but the fact of the matter is this — I don’t like birds.

If I had to list my favorite ten, 20, or heck, probably even 50, critters, birds would not make the list.

But really now, even given my aversion to birds, what is the deal? Is it just me or is there an extraordinary amount of bird shit plopped all over campus? My daily walks to and from Lagomarcino are requiring a barf bag an increasing amount of agility.

I’ve tried to change my perception of the droppings … as drips of ice cream or as splats of paint. It just isn’t working. What happened Tuesday made everything worse.

Walking past the parking garage east of the Union, my favorite hat fell victim to a disgusting dropping. Yes, a bird pooped on my head.

I’m not suggesting that we open season on the crows, sparrows and other feathered, squawking, screeching creatures.

I would like to, however, offer a couple of suggestions to prevent re-occurrence of such messy situations and to make a stroll through campus more pleasant and carefree.

Maybe the Department of Public Safety could provide students with some bird-dropping-protective- headgear. Maybe Iowa State could hire some of the street-cleaning Dutch people from Pella to wash our sidewalks.

Hey, it might help.

Justin Benna

Graduate student

Educational administration