It is amazing the ideas I come up with from this job.

Last week I covered a concert at People’s Bar and Grill which featured ex-Gear Daddies frontman Martin Zellar paying homage to his idol, Neil Diamond.

Dubbed Neil!, the tribute show chronicled Diamond’s career from his first chart-topping hits to his latest.

Opening for Zellar was the one-time Gear Daddies tribute band Zamboni, made up of local musicians Paul Wright, Mike Butterworth, Brett Nelson and Craig Just.

After previewing this rather unique show, I came up with an idea. If Zellar can do a tribute show to his idol, I should be able to do one for mine.

Of course, my tribute would not be to Diamond, but rather the one and only Vanilla Ice.

I would call the tribute Ice! and perform the show on Halloween. (Any true Ice fan knows Vanilla’s birthday is Oct. 31.)

Tommy Z (a.k.a. Tom Zmolek) and I are buds and I know with a little persuasion, I could convince him to open People’s Theater for the event.

Sure, it sounds like a long shot, but let me share my well-thought out plan as to how I will put together Ice!

First, I will have to come up with an opening act.

I thought about the Wright/Butterworth tribute to me thing, but I really haven’t written much material since the “Planet Rap” in fifth grade, which wouldn’t make for much of a show.

So I will look elsewhere. I will put together a New Kids On The Block tribute band made up of GSB cabinet members. (Rumor has it, they aren’t afraid to be up on stage.)

There is no doubt in my mind that Rob Wiese and Matt McLaren can do Danny and Jordan as well as anybody in this city.

OK, so now I will need to put together my band. (Yes, Vanilla had a band.)

Butterworth and Jason Walsmith of The Nadas will handle the few guitar parts. (Both have done the Vanilla thing with me in the past.)

35″ Mudder member and co-worker Chad Calek will take care of bass. (I know deep down inside he is as big of a Vanilla fan as I am.)

On the turntables will be your favorite DJ and mine, KCCQ’s Dark Knight.

Which brings me to the V.I.P. (Vanilla Ice Posse).

Fronting the posse will be co-Vanilla fan club member and experienced Ice dancer, Scott “Jake” Jacobson. (We’ve already had plenty of practice together.)

Someone in the posse has to be able to do some quality singing, which takes us to Iowa State alum Simon Estes. I’ve heard rumors Ice is one of his biggest influences and I have a hunch he would jump at the chance to be in Ice!

The V.I.P. must also have a member who can do flips and cool stuff like that and who better than Darren Davis to fill the slot. (I am also going to try and talk him into engraving V.I. on his gold tooth.)

The last member of the V.I.P. tribute will be another Daily co-worker, Rhaason Mitchell, based solely on the fact that he is The Man. (And he might be able to get us some free hot dogs.)

The band will dress in all black for the show and the V.I.P. will dress similar to me — spray-painted jeans, black leather jackets with an eight-ball on the back and the word “sucka” stitched across the collar and Miami Hurricanes hats (with the tags still in tact, of course).

I, however, will not wear a hat, but instead sport the complete Vanilla hair-do. I will even go as far as shaving lines around the sides, back and through my left eye-brow.

Once the opening act, which will be dubbed NKOTBGSB, is finished with opening duties, Ice! will take the stage behind a monstrous “Ice! Ice! Baby!” chant by the crowd.

Ice! will play by the rules and open with the semi-popular radio tune “Stop that Train.”

Similar to Vanilla’s live record “Extremely Live,” we will follow with “Rollin’ In My 5.0.”

The crowd will erupt when Dark Knight comes out from behind the turntables to do a beat-box duet with me on “Havin’ A Roni.”

True Ice fans will then be treated to back to back “Cool As Ice” tunes “The People’s Choice” and “Get Wit’ It.”

Estes will follow with a solo of the original Sly and Family Stone version of “Play That Funky Music” for a few minutes until the band breaks into Ice’s version, much to the crowd’s liking.

By now the mosh pit will be so out of control we will have to slow it down with “I Love You” and one other cheesy Ice ballad.

Ice! will play a couple more “To The Extreme” tunes before entering the covers portion of the show. We will begin with “You Can’t Touch This” as a tribute to the man who first brought Ice on the road, M. C. Hammer.

Next, Ice! will cover Don MacLean’s “American Pie” as well as some other typical People’s covers of Dave Matthews Band and Billy Joel.

Putting an end to the covers session will be the “would have been a monster hit but The Rolling Stones denied Ice permission to sample” tune “Satisfaction.”

I will then say thank you to the crowd and leave the stage with my posse and band. The “Ice! Ice! Baby” chants will begin and we will soon return for an encore.

But we will tease the band and do “Hooked” and then leave stage once again.

The chants will return, only this time, they will be so loud Martin Jischke will be able to hear “Ice! Ice! Baby” in his living room at the Knoll.

I will then take the stage along with Calek, who will play the familiar bass riff as I begin a solo dance routine. One by one, each member of the posse will take the stage.

And just as the lyrics are about to begin, the stage will be bombarded with smoke and out from the clouds will come Vanilla Ice himself.

Ice and I will rap the song together as all of Iowa State witnesses the spectacle. The show will end with the two of us standing in the signature Vanilla pose from the cover of “To The Extreme” with the words “ahh yeah” echoing throughout all of Ames.

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Corey Moss is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Urbandale.