This is a paraphrased response from DPS’ as they parked illegally on Oct. 17 while writing out tickets.

“We are on official business collecting money from the parking meters, so they are allowed to park anywhere. Where else should we park? “

My response: “How about at the Union for 50 cents an hour?”

“Well you are entitled to your opinion,” was the response.

Gee, thanks for reminding me, you robot. …

How about this for a solution? First, move the DPS office and parking to just south of Hilton. Then sell all parking police vehicles and let them use their legs.

Third, cut student programs by 50 percent across the board for 10 years to supply the funds needed for making more parking available — for instance, another ramp, perhaps in the area across from Sweeney and Nuclear Engineering building.

Lastly, how about having the students declare a “potato week” in which students can stuff the exhaust pipes of DPS parking police vehicles with fresh potatoes. (OK, just kidding — right?!)

Or another solution … storm the Bastille!!!!!

Tim R. Benson

Senior

Community health education and economics