Daily Staff Writer

“Ye Olde Space Bande”

The Moog Cookbook

The Moog Cookbook’s latest release has got to be one of the silliest things ever to be recorded in any genre. The theme of the CD is that 10 of rock and roll’s greatest songs (which is certainly a matter of the group’s opinion) have been redone with moog instruments and synthesizers.

The result is a CD likely to make you burst at the seams with laughter, yet will still make you want to vomit.

This is the case on the Cookbook’s take of Steppenwolf’s classic tune, “Born to be Wild.” Imagine the classic song, minus vocals (except for the title verse being synthesized twice), played by a kindergartener on a Fisher Price instrument.

Then there is the ridiculous version of Ted Nugent’s “Cat Scratch Fever” that sounds eerily like it came from an old, dusty Atari 2600 designed to play eight tracks at a rapid pace. In other words, it is completely worthless.

The same goes for the butchering of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Sweet Home Alabama,” Van Halen’s “Ain’t Talking About Love” and Boston’s “More Than a Feeling.” All are absolutely horrid in moog form.

But wait, it gets worse. Barnyard animal noises (such as a cow mooing, a pig oinking and a sheep baaing) grace the Eagles’ “Hotel California,” which also has a portion of Emerson, Lake and Palmer’s “Karn Evil # 9” woven into it.

Chicago’s “25 or 6 to 4” demonstrates that Chicago’s music can get worse. This song had no redeemable qualities to begin with and certainly doesn’t have any now.

Can it possibly get any worse? Unfortunately, yes it can. The Moog Cookbook turn both Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love” and Kiss’ “Rock ‘N’ Roll All Nite” into medleys.

The Zep song is lukewarm, being slow and monotonous in some places and frantic in others. It also mixes moog versions of riffs from The Who’s “Won’t Get Fooled Again” and “Baba O’Riley,” Pink Floyd’s “On the Run” and Steve Miller’s “Fly Like an Eagle” into the song. The end result doesn’t work.

But it is a lot better than the Kiss medley.

Whoever thought of inserting the Beatles’ “While My Guitar Gently Weeps,” Queen’s “Killer Queen” and Led Zeppelin’s “All My Love” into this song should be shot.

But wait! It actually gets worse. The Kiss song also contains moog segments of “Grand Old Flag,” “Camptown Ladies,” “Yankee Doodle,” “Old McDonald,” “Swanee River,” “The Entertainer,” “Battle Hymn of the Republic,” “America the Beautiful” and “God Bless America,” among others.

I am not making this up. It is seriously that awful.

At least the moog version of David Bowie’s “Ziggy Stardust” is good. In fact, it might actually be better than the original, with its hauntingly beautiful moog sound (I guarantee you will never hear me say that again).

Now, how much would you pay for this marvel of mediocrity? One dollar? Two dollars? Don’t waste your money.

If you are truly interested and the first one to respond, you can have mine for free. I certainly don’t want this piece of garbage.

1/2 star out of five.

— Ben Jones

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“The Pick, The Sickle and the Shovel”

Gravediggaz

The Wu-Tang Clan dynasty continues with the sophomore album from a hip-hop group that has often — and wrongly — been labelled “horrorcore” by music critics and the press.

“That’s why they call me the Rzarector,” says rapper/producer RZA by way of explanation on the album. “I’m out to resurrect the mental dead by diggin’ up they graves.”

Initially formed out of other New York hip-hop favorites (Gatekeeper was Frukwan from Stetsasonic, Grym Reaper was Too Poetic), they have clearly become Wu-Tang disciples.

RZA produces or co-produces a majority of beats, and the rest are split between RZA protege 4th Disciple and the other emcees of the group.

“Dangerous Mindz” stars the album on a high note with excellent lyricism from Grym Reaper. “With forces that are armed upon the seven continental borders/A mental fortress is essentials to absorb this/My sword hits the human orb until it orbits,” rhymes Reaper, explaining his mental and physical powers.

Other tracks such as “Da Bomb” stress the Gravediggaz excellent skills and beats, while songs like “Fairytalez” discuss wife-beating and racist police.

The Gravediggaz seem unafraid to tackle any topic within their spectrum.

The album’s only failing is it simply not as outstanding as their debut album “6 Feet Deep” (known in the United Kingdom as “Niggamortis”).

Prince Paul/The Undertaker produced or co-produced a lot of the debut, and while he is still listed as a group member, his name doesn’t show up next to a single producing credit.

All in all, this is a worthwhile project for fans of Wu-Tang productions.

3 1/2 stars out of five.

— Steve “Flash” Juon

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“Planet of the Wolves”

Guitar Wolf

The latest release from Matador records is certainly one that shows a true East-meets-West-and-kicks-its-ass style.

Guitar Wolf, a three-man garage punk outfit from Tokyo, Japan is the best thing to happen to hardcore, sloppy punk-rock since the comparable days of Link Wray.

Granted, Link Wray didn’t know what punk was at the time, but his precedent-setting, fuzzed-out guitar sound is clearly a huge influence on Guitar Wolf’s guitarist/singer, Seiji.

Seiji is backed up by an excellent rhythm section led by Toru on drums and Billy on bass guitar.

“Planet of the Wolves” is the band’s fifth LP release and its second release on Matador. This album backs the idea that there is still a pulsing punk scene in Japan.

During times when production costs of albums run higher than most cars are worth, Guitar Wolf’s last album, “Missile Me!,” ran them a mere $200 to produce, using a four-track recorder or a Walkman to record tracks.

From the sound of this album, the band is still utilizing the same “anti-fi” sound techniques.

Though Guitar Wolf’s English is as sloppy as their instrument mastery, it all combines to form one high-energy, rebellious sound that would make Joey Ramone himself stand up and shout.

The album starts out with “Kawasaki ZII750 Rock ‘N’ Roll,” which is in some way an ode to the Kawasaki motorcycle. The song, much like Guitar Wolf’s live show, rips and tears on guitars and screams barely recognizable lyrics.

The album is pretty much the same all the way through, although each song is distinctive and has a unique feel to it.

There are a few highlights on the disc, such as their cover of the Rolling Stones’ classic “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction,” which sounds as if a Japanese Jell-o biafra were singing the song.

Another highlight is “Kung-Fu Ramone’s Passion.” This song pretty much sums up the band’s sound, which is like a strange soundtrack to a kung-fu movie.

The disc ends with an impressive cover of Link Wray’s hit, “Rumble.”

This song puts the finishing touches on an album as pure and uncut as the live performance of your favorite low-fi, high-school garage band.

This album is real punk rock with an edge most bands have lost with the passing of time.

Guitar Wolf has stayed true to its noise-laden sound that has turned heads all over the world.

Guitar Wolf’s music is as simple as its production, but it is so impressive that you walk away with a new respect for the Japanese underground culture.

3 1/2 stars out of five.

— Matt Baker

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“Latyrx”

Lateef and Lyrics Born

When you’re talking about “Latyrx,” you’re dealing with lyricists that are “fresh, fresh, fresh” and music that’s anything but ordinary.

It’s no surprise this record is dope. The Albany, Cal., label Solesides has been turning out fresh hip-hop records by being anything but conventional.

Just consider that DJ Shadow is on the label’s roster of producers, and you’ll get the idea.

The title track has both Lateef the Truthseeker and Lyrics Born (formerly Asia) rhyming simultaneously on different stereo channels, followed by an incredible verse where Lateef rhymes only in triplets.

“Lesson one, if aiming to impress, -press, -press, you gotta do it yourself, quiet as kept, kept, kept,” Lateef raps.

The music production is a shot of tranquilized cool in a world of hyper-intense rhythms and catchy song choruses that have invaded our ability to feel and understand true meaning.

“Say That” has electronic beeps and outer-spacey guitar riffs, while “Balcony Beach” has a laconic, soulful melody that allows Lyrics Born to wax nostalgic about the meaning of life and the ocean waves.

“Just the way the sea’s been this evening, I came out at eight, was leaning on the railing, I kept hearing the waves crashin’ beneath me … every time they’d head back out to sea, it’s like they’d draw just a little more out of me,” Born raps.

The album, to say the least, is not gangsters screaming about their guns and their grip, nor pseudo-hepcats talking about their expensive wine and fine clothes.

It’s a thoughtful album accentuated by clever and intriguing music, but not for those unwilling to hear experimental rap music that takes chances.

4 stars out of five.

— Steve “Flash” Juon