The scary aspects of Halloween and feelings of fear created by haunted houses can be fun for adults, who understand the difference between fantasy and reality.

But for young children trying to develop an understanding of trust and the difference between fantasy and reality, Halloween can be quite traumatic.

Dr. Warren Phillips, a temporary instructor of psychology at Iowa State and a practicing psychologist at Hope Clinic in Ames and Central Iowa Psychological Services in Des Moines, said the main problem with Halloween is children don’t understand why the things around them are happening.

“They are in a stage of developing trust in other people and their consistency,” Phillips said.

When parents or loved ones dress up in strange costumes with masks and make-up, they have a tendency to process the question, “Why is this person doing this?” Phillips said.

Some children tend to think the fear the costume produces in them is a punishment. They think, “I must have done something wrong for Mom to be scaring me like this,” Phillips said.

He said these reactions could lead to anxiety and fear in toddlers and preschoolers. They fear that they or someone else will be hurt, he said.

Fears can manifest themselves in the form of nightmares, difficulty in going to bed or falling asleep, separation anxiety or fear of the dark, Phillips said.

Paula McMurray-Schwarz, an ISU professor in the Department of Family and Consumer Sciences, said when faced with someone dressed up, young children will “cry, scream, run away, cling to an adult in fear or look for protection … even if it’s a clown or Mickey Mouse.”

“It seems to be the masks in particular that cause problems,” Phillips said. “Young kids use people’s faces as a way to recognize people. Children don’t understand change to someone’s face.”

McMurray-Schwarz said, “Children recognize the voice but don’t have the physical features to match the voice. This can be very confusing to them.”

Recently, McMurray-Schwarz heard an account of one little boy’s comments when he was dressed up in costume. The boy said, “Don’t be afraid — it’s okay. It’s just me.” He was using his comments to signal to his parents that it’s scary when they’re dressed up, McMurray-Schwarz said.

On the other hand, young kids like to pretend, Phillips said. “Fantasy play is a powerful learning tool that children use to find who they are. For children ages 4 to 6, showing off their costumes door-to-door and fantasy can be fun,” he said.

Children’s understanding of fantasy and reality develops throughout elementary school, McMurray-Schwarz said.

She said for young children, dressing up as something else or scaring other people is fun. “Being scared is not fun,” she said.

Phillips said activities need to be age-appropriate, and children need to be closely supervised about what they’re wearing and where they’re going.

“It’s not a good idea to put on a costume and come out and surprise a 4 year old,” Phillips said.

Phillips doesn’t recommend even mild haunted houses for children until they are at least 9 or 10 years old. Later, when children are 13 to 15 years old, they are more capable of handling scarier haunted houses, he said.

McMurray-Schwarz said parents should never force their children to participate in Halloween activities.

“If they ask and are persistent about going to a haunted house, parents need to do a lot of preparation,” she said. “Parents need to know their child and understand the child’s needs and individuality.”

“You never, ever want to force children to get over their anxieties,” Phillips said. “Let them know it’s okay if they’re scared and pay attention to what your children are saying,”

Phillips said he feels that giving a clear explanation to children before the activities is extremely important.

“Tell them that others are going to be dressed up for fun, but nothing is going to hurt them,” he said.

Phillips and McMurray-Schwarz agree safe activities that are fun for young children include door-to-door trick-or-treating, picking out costumes and carving pumpkins.

Other fun and non-scary activities include going to the apple orchard, pumpkin farm and parties, as well as learning about fall and harvest time.

Blank Park Zoo in Des Moines is offering such an opportunity — a Halloween activity called “Night Eyes,” advertised as a “Merry and not scary time.”

Costumes with negative connotations should be reserved for children at least 8 years of age, Phillips said. Nothing scary or drastic is usually recommended for younger children, he said.

“I think children usually tend to want to dress up as a Power Ranger or other cartoon character they’ve seen on TV and want to be like anyway,” he said.

McMurray-Schwarz’s advice to parents is to focus on the process and not the end result of dressing up.

“Let children do their own makeup, or put a mirror in front of them while you do it for them,” she said.

Phillips added, “It is important for kids to see the costume go on and come off.”