Munching and crunching in class

Kathleen Carlson

Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch.

Mmmm, salty, crunch, mmmm, Chex Mix.

I was having one of my more sensual Chex Mix consuming experiences the other day in class.

Then my will was overpowered by the bumbling, grumbling in my stomach.

It’s the kind of hunger that makes you wonder if you looked down at your belly button, would it actually be touching your spine?

It’s the 10:30 a.m., my-breakfast-has-worn-off-and-lunch-seems-light-years-away feeling we’ve all had, in addition to the fact that it was 1 p.m. and I hadn’t eaten a morsel since 7:30 a.m.

Yipes!

I chose Chex Mix to appease the mind of my hunger.

A healthy choice, I think.

Here’s how I get that: A = hungry (for those of you who don’t know me, that’s pronounced hoeng-grie).

B = high sodium, high carbohydrate, but extremely tasty Chex Mix.

C = happy Katie, big smile, therefore healthy Katie.

Alas, the equation: A+B=C.

Now, it’s a good thing A didn’t run off with B and leave C behind because D, which I didn’t give you — but it equals the almighty dollar — would have felt quite useless.

So there I was chomping and crunching and spilling crushed Chex Mix flakes all over a borrowed shirt.

Then I realized I was around people.

I was so involved in the ultra satisfaction that comes with crunching Chex Mix and tasting the salty delights, that I forgot I was supposed to be listening.

All I could hear was the resonant crunching.

It was so loud that my jaws may as well have been in my ears.

Ka-runch, ka-runch, munch, munch, ka-runch.

My professor and the rest of the class appeared to ignore the deliciously satisfying sounds my munching was making.

But I’m sure they were really exercising the power and skillfulness of clever thought (which is thoroughly presented at this university) to devise a plan to tie me up, steal my Chex Mix and crunch at it in front of me.

Oh, how torturous that might have been.

For fear of anarchy, I decided I best not tilt the bag up to pour the crumbs of the snack into my mouth.

These crumbs are truly the best part of the treat, although their consistency is not as pleasing.

Since there is a much lower crunch factor to them, they possess the blast of Chex Mix flavoring to complete the experience.

The class must have been waiting just for that moment to seize my Chex Mix bag from me.

Since I savored the moment until after class, I am positive they were sincerely dismayed they had to put up with all the crunching, and for no sweet revenge.

Ah ha ha ha.

Everyone needs to have this kind of sensual eating experience at least once a week, even if it is only a snack.

This is essential for a student’s stability.

We students have a propensity to forget the little things in life that can be so pleasurable.

Eating has become a two-minute ritual, three times a day, in whic unhealthy food is dump-trunked into our mouths and we chew the rest while running out of the door.

Resist the temptation to skip meals, fight the urge to eat as fast as humanly possible and eat Chex Mix — or satisfy your particular craving.

Other foods in which I take pride by completely absorbing myself into making it an eating experience include chocolate (of course), pears and any kind of pasta with alfredo sauce.

Chocolate is simply a given and should not be discussed in order to revere the holiness chocolate holds.

But I must explain that many people do not understand how significant chocolate may be to a person.

If you find such a person, teasing, harassing and threatening to hide chocolate; it can be devastating to that student stability thing I was talking about before.

Don’t mess with chocolate or Chex Mix.


Kathleen Carlson is a senior in journalism and mass communication and international studies from Cedar Rapids.