“We come to college not alone to prepare to make a living , but to learn to

live a life.”

-M.J. Riggs, ISU class of 1883

“This ain’t living.”

-Marvin Gaye, Inner City Blues, 1971

If you’re like me, you’re not from around here and have been here for a while. If you’re new around here you may want to listen. If you’ve been here for a while, stick around for reinforcement.

If you’re from around here please make it easier for those around you who are not by paying attention.

Having said that, welcome to Iowa State University, the most difficult university in the country. Recognize this, don’t be discouraged, be challenged.

When you graduate you will be that much more better off than all of your friends that didn’t attend ISU (provided the amount of classwork you face doesn’t rob you of the work ethic required in your real career).

Yes, I predict that each and every one of you will be financially successful once you graduate and get a job. Here’s the catch. In order to graduate and be a success you must first avoid the curse of Ames, Iowa.

See, attending ISU is a task akin to spending an entire night in a haunted house in order to collect a late relative’s fortune. Recognize this, this university is cursed. This will become apparent within the next month.

Everything is bright and cheery now but come October, settle in for a long and creepy night. The curse I speak of heralds from and is common in the inner cities of America.

It is a highly volatile combination of animosity, apathy, envy, hatred, coffee, cheap cigarettes and cheaper alcohol. Pork too.

Sounds nasty right? It is. The curse I dare speak of is DRAMA.

So how did such a curse infiltrate the sleepy heartland hamlet of Ames? Simple, this curse breeds anywhere in any town suffering an identity crisis. Ames is such a town.

The university attracts a great number of people alien to the sleepy heartland hamlet culture that exists here. A culture, it is no secret, many of us find appallingly dull.

Ronald Neil Clark

Senior

Community and regional planning

Friley 2291 Stanton