Bonjour, friendly folks. If you’re looking for some advice on where to eat (or not to eat, whichever the case may be) you’ve come to the right place.

OK, so I had this craving for some good breakfast food — you know, eggs and sausages and stuff. The only problem was that it was 9:30 at night. Drat. I had all but given up on satisfying my palate, when I remembered passing a truck stop off Highway 30 East last weekend.

By 9:55 (it would have been earlier if I hadn’t missed my turn), I was pulling into Cyclone Restaurant off S. Dayton Road. I parked between two sixteen-wheelers and ventured inside.

I made my way to a large booth in the corner, where I could take in the whole experience of being at a truck stop. This was no easy feat, mind you. The floors were freshly mopped and still pretty wet. Hmm. Didn’t seem to notice any “Wet Floor” signs. (Can you say lawsuit?) I soon noticed that I was at one of the only restaurants around where the smoking section is still in full force.

I sat down and was immediately asked by my friendly waitress, “You want anything to drink besides that water?” Coke products, including Surge and the elusive Mr. Pibb, rounded out the soft drink choices. When she came back with the drinks, my Pibb wasn’t very full. It was hard for me to refrain from asking if someone had already taken a drink. (The free refills more than made up for it, though.)

Cyclone Restaurant offers 87 menu items, conveniently numbered for easier ordering. I stayed away from the hot sandwich, a hallmark of truck stops across this great nation of ours. After an inner battle with my breakfast-craving stomach, I went with #29 Pizza Burger Italian Beef with Mozzarella Cheese for $4.20.

After ordering, I entertained myself by playing with the phones at each booth. . . I tried, but I couldn’t for the darndest get a hold of the Psychic Friends Hotline. I then ventured over to the convenience store side of the restaurant and looked longingly at the lottery tickets (yet another reason I wish I were 21). Then I went into the restroom. OK—about that. Let me just say they have quite the assortment of vending machine offerings in there.

Now that summer session is in full swing, keep Cyclone Restaurant in mind when pulling all-nighters. We’ve already established that you can smoke there, it’s always open and they serve coffee.

OK, so ten minutes later, my pizza burger was served. The plate presentation left much to be desired. I admit I didn’t order any sides, but still, the breaded sandwich and two pickles looked pretty unappealing on the large, beige plate. The burger was kinda dry, and I couldn’t tell what kind of meat it was. . . interesting. As far as taste goes, I’ll compare them to the garden burgers from food service days ‘— but a heck of a lot better.

The cashier lit up right in front of me before taking my money — you don’t see that every day. All in all, I had a decent dinner at Cyclone Restaurant. I was hoping to leave with an interesting anecdote from a friendly trucker, but alas, left with nothing more than a full stomach, undoubtedly bad breath and smoke-stenched clothes. 2 stars out of five.

Kim Zangger is a senior in advertising from Mt.Vernon.