Summer is finally here, and along with it comes warmer weather, humidity, summer classes and a vast population decrease. Usually the combination of these things leads people to be very lazy and irritable — at least until it cool sdown a little bit.

Fortunately, we can use these conditions to our advantage. It is time to step up and take back control of our university. Ideally, by the time the fall session rolls around, we can implement specific changes within the university structure to make life more bearable for everyone.

Now, you might be thinking it is not wise to attempt change while the majority of our fellow students is back home, working their butts off for the almighty dollar.

But now is the perfect time. Don’t you see that these people are dragging us down? These are the same incompetent fools that do not see a problem with the lack of diversity at this university. These people don’t care that the administration is limiting our freedoms of expression and assembly right under our noses.

They also try to ignore the tyrannical rule that the administration, with the help of the greeks and the Government of the Student Body, has yoked all of us.

The administration would like nothing better for us all to conform to greek values. These twisted values suggest we back all of the administration’s Nazi-like actions and ideas. But we all know the real reason why the greeks have never challenged the administration: it is because they are all obedient slaves in President Jischke’s covert sweatshop. They perform tricks for subsidized funding and leftover table scraps.

So, it is time to act while most of these worthless curs are out of town. We must plan for the near future when these vultures are back to pick the withering flesh from our dignified bones. But where do we start?

Removing Jischke from the president’s office is a good start. It has become blatantly obvious over the last two years that he is completely incompetent, insensitive and stubborn. His list of offenses has grown exceedingly long and becomes longer with every passing semester.

Not only has Jischke refused to budge on the Catt Hall issue, he refuses to acknowledge the Constitution. This is demonstrated by his strict denial of freedom of expression and assembly.

But we needn’t draw the line at just the dismissal of Jischke. We also need to remove university lawyer Paul Tanaka for his blatant disregard of the legal system. We need to remove Dean of Students Kathleen McKay.

We need to limit the influence of GSB and the greeks. Obviously, they don’t have a single shred of consciousness or free will. Why should they have any involvement in decision making if they are incapable of making informed decisions?

While these changes are being implemented, we can strengthen our forces and finally instill some diversity. We can form our own committee to rename Catt Hall after somebody more deserving.

Certainly, our committee would be much more diverse than the one who chose to commemorate Carrie Chapman Catt. That committee consisted of nine people, every single one of them white. Doesn’t that explain a lot?

After renaming Catt Hall, we can direct more funding out of the administrators’ pockets and into a diverse curriculum. We can take steps to preserve tenure, eliminate corporate influence and privatization and wrestle control of the Union from the grasp of the Regents.

Every one of these goals are lofty, but they are also beneficial to the community as a whole. Things need to change around here and if the administration, the greeks and GSB have their way, things will change for the worse.

That’s why you need to take a stand this summer. Make this university a better place by next fall. Be a true individual and break those conformist chains.

But don’t pee in the pool while doing it.

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Ben Jones is a continuing freshman in English from Des Moines.