With finals peeking around the corner I wanted to give readers a little more nonsense with which to fill their brains. So, when you’re trying to remember the year the cotton gin was invented or what type of economy is prevalent in the Mediterranean, all you will be able to think about are the “why” questions that often plague me. So here is my finals present to you. Enjoy.

Why do one-credit classes have so much busy work?

Why don’t people think before they speak?

Why do people procrastinate all semester and then act shocked when all their stuff is due?

Why do they call things a pair, if there is only one of them? (Example: shorts and scissors.)

Why is it against the law to remove those “do not remove under penalty of law” tags off furniture?

Why is polyester making a comeback? I thought we had made such fashion progress.

Why is my favorite show always preempted by a basketball game or news report?

Why is there never water in the M.U. fountain?

Why do I have a final on Friday, when everyone else is done on Tuesday?

Why doesn’t the orange route go by molecular biology?

Why do I have to be out of my house on Saturday, but I can’t move into my new place ’til Sunday?

Why do people go on Ricki Lake and air their dirty laundry? How can I get on there?

Why the salad shooter?

Why is it that all the classes I need to graduate are offered at exactly the same time — 8 a.m.?

Why couldn’t I think of a more original column?

Why isn’t there enough quality television on at 2 a.m.?

Why do people always spell my name wrong, or call me Lena?

Why is David Hasselhoff famous?

Why don’t they ever put any good prizes in cereal boxes?

Why can’t the people in Metropolis figure out that Clark Kent is really Superman? His disguise is a pair of glasses; I don’t look that different with my glasses on.

Why do Canadians say “ah” after every sentence?

Why did the chicken cross the road, and why are we so concerned?

Why do people call and ask you what you are doing? It’s obvious that you are talking on the phone.

Why doesn’t MTV play music anymore?

Why do rainy days make some people grumpy?

Why do we have wisdom teeth, when we just have to have them removed? Same question with the appendix.

Why the Spice Girls?

Why do journalism majors need eight credits in science?

Why do people say “bless you” after you sneeze? Is it a religious experience?

Why do people say “what?” after you ask them a question, then answer you?

Why does Leana only have a biweekly column? I still can’t figure that one out.

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Leana Benson is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Madrid.