I hope that you find this piece timely and appropriate enough for use in your paper. I just found that Mr. Johnson’s article, dated Thursday, March 27th, to be a little disturbing, to put it mildly.

First of all, I’d like to say that I’m not perfect nor am I any type of theological scholar. I am simply an average student who feels strongly about the subjects of sex and love. Although I agree with Brian Gunst’s article in the Friday issue of the Daily (Mar. 28), I’d like to try and take another perspective that I think has been missed by both parties. That side of the coin, if you will, is the side that some people have chosen to remain celibate not by force of their parents, or by their respective house of worship, but on their own volition.

There was a point in my life where I felt as though Mr. Johnson does. When I first discovered sex, my world was new and alive. I saw things in a totally different light. Obviously, I’m not a virgin anymore. But I like to think of myself as a “born again” virgin. I am choosing not to have sex (again) until I am married. You see, I’ve had to learn the hard way how powerful and destructive sex without love can be. I’ve made many mistakes in my life; now I’m paying for them. But the point is that when we make a mistake, admit it, learn from it and move on using our mistakes as learning experiences.

Sex and love are such powerful forces in our world. Most of the time we young people can confuse the two very easily. I know that I did. Because the two are so closely related, it’s hard to tell the difference. The pressures of society that are placed upon today’s youth make sex seem like it’s the most important thing in the world. But the truth of the matter is that sex by itself can be more of a destructive force than the building force that, I believe, it was intended to be. When sex and love walk hand in hand, it’s the most beautiful, powerful force on earth and nothing can destroy it.

You see, to me, there is a vast difference between sex and making love. Sex is a nameless, one night stand that happens all too frequently. Love making happens when two people who are completely committed to each other are joined in marriage and they become one. There is no other greater force on this earth than love. It is the tie that binds.

For a lot of people, this choice to remain a virgin comes from their parents and their churches. But for others, it comes from mistakes made and from their own volition. I could easily say that since the damage is already done, I could continue my ways. But I’ve seen and felt the damage done both by me and to me. And as Mr. Johnson says, we have the right to choose our paths in life. For me, and for a lot of other people, we have chosen to remain “pure” or “born again.” This is simply a lifestyle choice that has been made.

Sex is not a game like Mr. Johnson portrays it. Sex is not a toy that is to be used and thrown away. Sex is a gift anyway you look at it. If you want to look at it from a biblical point of view, it says right there that it is a gift. If you choose to look at sex from a more secular point of view, the whole point in sex and lovemaking is a surrender, a mutual giving.

Mr. Johnson says that we should celebrate sex. But I think that it’s our sexuality that we need to celebrate. We need to be proud of ourselves as sexual beings. It is in our nature to have sex. Sex in and of itself is a very primal urge. I would like to believe that we as human beings are more capable of a deeper form of intimacy, namely that of love. We can celebrate our bodies in more ways than having sex. I am, for one, very proud of my body. I can celebrate my body in other ways than having sex with someone. By trying to keep myself in general good health and through friends, I think that I do more to celebrate my body and my sexuality than Mr. Johnson would like to believe.

Mr. Johnson also says that it’s OK and it’s right to give in to our desires. We all know that argument by analogy is a very weak form of argument. I can’t think of a better way to argue this next point. It’s not always right to give into our desires. For example, if I desire to have sex with some woman, she may not be so willing. If I choose to give into my desire, I violate her and her desire not to have sex with me. And that, my friends, is called rape; one of the most heinous crimes that one could ever commit.

I also don’t believe that monogamy leads to complacency in relationships. I can understand that sex may not be as good as it was before, but a couple that is really in love, will have more ways than just sex to express their love for one another. Respect and common courtesy can go much farther to show love than one night of what Mr. Johnson deems as “love making.”

How else are you going to avoid STD’s, AIDS and unwanted pregnancy by 100%? The answer is abstinence. Whether you want to admit it, we are lucky 99.9% of the time. There is still that .1% chance that something can happen. It happens; we hear it day in and day out on the news.

Those who chose not to have sex are just as strong as those who choose to have sex. It’s always harder to do your own thing than it is to follow the mainstream. Especially when “everyone is doing it.”

So I say to the ISU community, “Listen to your hearts, not your ears.” Make the choice that’s right for you. Each one of us has been given a gift to share with the world. Let’s all do our part to share it in the best way possible. I know that I will be trying my best to do just that.

Benjamin M. Foust

Junior

Mathematics