Throughout the history of sports, there have been countless athletes who have been able to master and play two sports professionally.

Most notably in the last decade, Bo Jackson played both football and baseball. Bo did know football and baseball, but Bo also got to know Mr. Injury.

Michael “Air” Jordan felt it was time to move on and gave up basketball for baseball. Only someone with as much clout as Jordan could swing a spot on a professional baseball roster. When Jordan met Mr. Farmleague, it was time to retreat to the safety of the NBA.

Now, Deion “Neon” Sanders said he will attempt to go through both a baseball and a basketball season without missing a game.

While Sanders has proven in the past, at best, handling the stress of two sports, there is someone who has branched out of the generally acceptable realm of sports, to tackle something that is more becoming of his personality.

Dennis “The Worm” Rodman. Rodman has easily made the transition from NBA player to a member of the NWO, known in the World Wrestling Federation as the New World Order. Rodman will definitely fit in with the likes of Macho Man Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan.

Now I haven’t seen the Worm compete yet. Rumor has it he’ll never actually do any WWF wrestling. I think that is a shame, for Rodman has found a place for unacceptable behavior, where multi-colored hair and attacking the referee are not uncommon.

But what I want to know is — How much more embarrassment can the Bulls franchise take from Rodman?

Maybe Rodman is trying to find the real Rodman, hidden deep under the layers of tattoos and body piercings. This is probably why he is also making a debut in Double Team.

Yes, this is true. I can’t make up anything this bizarre. Rodman plays Yaz, a “flamboyant and deadly” world class arms dealer, who has ” a flair for destruction and an affinity for trouble,” as Columbia Pictures states. (Could a better personality for Rodman be found?)

Who does Rodman pair up with? Jean-Claude Van Damme. Oh yeah, it doesn’t get any better than this. Van Damme, known for Kickboxer and Bloodsport, is trying to stop an international conspiracy.

But he makes a couple of mistakes.

He is the hunted, because all of Van Damme’s movies are cliched, the Worm is the one who saves the day.

Rodman definitely had some good writers for the movie. Check out these lines — “I kinda like trouble” and “I don’t play by the rules.” For a man who has received eight suspensions in four years, these lines mimic reality.

If I were in Siskel and Ebert’s position, I would give this movie two thumbs up. It sounds like it might be taking home more Oscars than The English Patient.

Actually, I think this picture is a bomb. The only reason anyone would see it is to see the Worm. It is sad when a movie tries to cash in on such a poor role model.

Well, that is all I have space for. I’m Rory, and I hope I won’t see you at this movie.

---

RORY FLAHERTY is a senior in construction engineering from Le Mars.