Three days. In three short days football fans across America will finally get thrown a bone. This Saturday at 11 a.m., while much of Ames is sleeping off a Veishea- induced hangover, the 1997 NFL Draft will begin.

And after this offseason, I need the draft more than I’ve ever needed it before.

This total lack of anything football has led me to suffer from many strange and bizarre withdrawal symptoms. I’ve actually been spending time with my wife. I’ve read books for pleasure, not because they were mandatory. I watched a World League football game, something I swore would never happen. I even watched an episode of World Championship Wrestling, when they said Carolina LB Kevin Greene would be on.

Now my head is full of worthless wrestling jargon. I know who Ric Flair and the 4 Horseman are. WOOOO! God, somebody help me!

But in three short days my help will arrive. The draft will begin.

This two-day-long event may seem like a total waste of time to some sports fans. Why should you watch an event that gives each team 15 minutes to ponder out a decision when you can easily get all the info you need from glancing at a newspaper the next day and save several hours of your life in the process?

I’ll tell you why. The draft is the big event of the offseason — the midpoint between the Super bowl and the preseason kickoff. The time when you get to see if your team is actually going to better itself and at the same time watch and see if any Cyclones are going to get drafted.

This year’s obvious Clone to watch is Troy Davis, but if the “draft experts” are right, Davis could still be hanging around in round three. Mel Kiper, “Draft Expert”, has Davis rated as the eighth best running back available.

Am I really supposed to accept the idea that there are seven other backs better than Davis? Do stats mean anything?

This guy did rush for consecutive 2,000 yard seasons, a feat never before accomplished. If Davis is the eighth best running back in this draft, then I’m the Easter Bunny.

But what does Kiper know anyway? Every year he makes his charts for who goes where, and every year they break down by pick No. 5.

He then throws a tantrum and blames the team for not taking the right guy. And how egotistical is the self-given title draft expert? What was the moniker “Dalai Lama of Draft Day” taken?

But enough about that. Another reason I watch the draft is it allows me to come off my own hangover while I watch the Jets blow another high pick.

This team has made such recent great moves as bypassing Marino, Rice and Emmit for guys no longer on any NFL roster.

This year the best player available is Orlando Pace, so naturally the Jets will take a pass on this guy. GO JETS!

Three days and I’ll regain some of my lost sanity. But for now I’m going to watch my tape of Reggie White showing up on WCW.

WOOOO!

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KEVIN PETTY is a senior in journalism and mass communication from Carlisle, Iowa.