Picture it. People in tight shirts and short shorts, sweating as they work their bodies. Men and women casting seemingly disinterested looks at each other, taking in everything. There’s no music and no beer, so it can’t be the bar.

I’ll give you a hint — it has been extra-crowded this week before spring break.

The rec center.

I know I’ve already written one column this semester about the rec center, but I ran into a friend the other day who pointed out the phenomenon of the rec as a “bar without music.” Thinking more about this comparison, I realized the parallels were too startling to pass up.

You’ve heard bars or parties called meat markets. Well, the Lied Recreation and Athletic Center is the largest meat market on the Iowa State campus. Sure, students come to the rec to get an aerobic work-out, lift some weights, shoot hoops or play racquetball, but students have an ulterior motive of watching members of the opposite sex.

If glances had laser beams to follow their paths, the Rec would look like that annoying Pepsi commercial with that kid who slurps his soda. Lasers from the free weights to the track, lasers from the track to the bikes, lasers from the Stair masters to the track. Men and women checking out each other’s physiques, clothes and work-out style.

Because we are under such close scrutiny, it’s important for each person to look his/her best. If one was headed to a Campustown watering hole, one might sport the newest V-neck from Express or a really stylin’ flannel. The same policy of “dress for success” works at the rec.

Instead of wearing a pair of ratty sweats, class of ’93 T-shirt and sweatband to work out, females come dudded up in short shorts and sports bras. Guys, you are the same way, in your cut-off T-shirts and tight tank tops. It’s all about aerodynamics, right?

Now that we’re geared for the Rec, we have to make sure we look good doing what we do. At the bar this might involve practicing a few key dance moves like the African Anteater Ritual, or your own personal rendition of “the Train.”

At the rec, this includes anything from a subtle flex in the mirror to running a little faster on the stretch of the track near the weight/bike/Stair master area then slowing down on the backstretch.

I’ve already mentioned the main differences between the bar and the rec — music and beer. The rec also has better lighting, less smoke and more bathrooms.

What I find amazing is that some rec exercisers won’t admit to using the rec to scope out members of the opposite sex. I, on the other hand, think we all need to ‘fess up to our secondary motives for working out and take full advantage of the situation.

What better way to find out what Greek house or what residence hall that certain guy or gal lives in than to check out his/her T-shirt as they pass you on the track? This maneuver requires pacing one’s running to get behind the object of your interest, or glancing backward nonchalantly as you round a curve.

Afternoon runners get the added bonus of seeing a multitude of ISU athletes strutting their stuff on the turf below. Nothing makes me appreciate my slow jog more than watching the baseball team run continuous shuttle-run drills while the coach screams at them to run harder. Not to mention those baseball pants …

Stair masters and stationary bikes can put you in an ideal location to converse with someone you’ve had your eye on. Here you have the potential to talk (pant) with someone for 6, 12, 18 or 24 minutes. Talk about a captive audience.

Weight-lifters can use all that dead time between sets to scan the whole rec center. However, if you meander over to the east drinking fountain, don’t dare go into the aerobic area, just stand near the fountain and look at the aerobicizers. They like it.

While working out burns fat and going to the bar makes you fat, the comparison between the two venues is too amazing to not realize. If you do one activity and not the other, take time before the end of the semester to partake in this phenomenon. You won’t be disappointed.

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Erin Walter is a senior in journalism and mass communication from Urbandale.