Science is careening out of control at speeds so incredible it boggles the mind. Much too fast for anyone, even a scientist, to stay on top of the ethical and moral dilemmas that arise every day. So to hell with it! Let’s be unscrupulously sensationalistic.

With the recent cloning of a sheep, a lot of old trashy science fiction became a little more credible.

For years, cloning a mammal was thought impossible. Nope, can’t be done. Too tricky.

Psych! So now they have cloned a sheep. Leave it to a Scotsman.

It will be a long time before humans are ever cloned. But like I said, ethics and morality be damned!

I look forward to a future where you can decide what you want your child to look like simply by tinkering with the very building blocks of life.

“For just $19.95 we’ll send you a frozen human egg with the cellular nucleus of Carl Sagan!

Just thaw in warm water and follow the simple 500-page instruction booklet. But that’s not all.

Act now and we’ll send you another egg containing Sheryl Crow’s musically talented DNA, FREE! Just call our toll-free number, 1-900-KLON-A-CELEB. The cost is $50 a minute. Non-sentient female host sold separately.”

Of course, Chaos Theory dictates that little Carl will be dimmer than an old flashlight and go join the circus.

And Sheryl, as her beatnik friends call her, will be hopelessly tone deaf.

But at least the nature-nurture dilemma would be resolved.

Then there’s the possibility that when you die you can have yourself cloned and live again (insert mad scientist’s insane laughter here).

You would be erased of memory, but you could write down everything you did wrong in this life and try not to do it in the next. And just hope you don’t end up a crack baby.

Or better yet, raise yourself as your own child. Be sure to stress to your adolescent self how those low-lifes you hang with aren’t your friends and while you are under this roof you will not listen to that noise you call music.

Isn’t this the kind of stuff that makes science so much more than a bunch of pencil-necked brainiacs babbling about something. Ethics? Morality?

Here’s a pile of cat poop, clone me a replica of my parakeet (think about it).

It just goes to show you, nothing is impossible in science. Confusing, paradoxical, sometimes disagreeable, but never impossible.

As for me, I’ll have the genetically engineered lamb chops, please.

Fries with that?