Your heart skips a beat. Your cheeks flush. You have a million things to say but can’t seem to say one intelligent word. You feel silly, you feel wonderful, you feel in love — or are you?

The feelings that you think mean love could mean something completely different, according to research. Chances are what you are feeling is a phenomena called limerence.

Signs of limerence, according to Dorothy Tennov, in her book, “Love and Limerence: The Experiences of Being in Love”, are: the feeling of suddenly knowing that only one person can satisfy your passionate desires; thinking that the person of your desires is wonderful, despite faults and weaknesses that are readily apparent; longing for reciprocation by the person of your desire, and acute sensitivity to their least activity, anything from a look in their eye to a phone call — or a call missed.

Limerence is intensified through adversity, like when you feel as if you are walking on air when they show returned interest, when you feel a physical aching in your chest when there is uncertainty and finding your greatest source of happiness — or despair — from your relationship with the person of your desire.

According to Tennov, limerence occurs in all cultures and seems to be true throughout history. Limerence is part of being human. People show different levels of limerence and some may not have any at all. On the other extreme, people with extreme limerence may behave in a criminal manner and engage in activities like stalking.

“Most people think limerence is love. Limerence is not love. Love takes years to develop; love takes a lot of time. Limerence is for the short term,” said Jane Vallier, professor of communication studies in the English department.

Where limerence trips people up the most, said Vallier referring to research by Tennov, is in the decision to get married before limerence wears off and real love takes its place. She pointed out research by Tennov that said the misunderstanding of limerence as love is the number one reason for divorce.

“Belief in that myth is what leads up to broken hearts and divorce, but you don’t have to believe in it. You can develop communication skills that will go a long way towards insuring a honest, open and healthy relationship,” Vallier said.

Limerence has no boundaries, Tennov said in her book, it is ageless. Limerence is just as true in the hallways of junior high as it is in nursing homes.

Along with limerence goes love sickness. Your “love” towards another has been spurned; you’ve been dumped and you feel like your heart is going to break and it’s the end of the world. You also think it’s all in your head, and all that’s needed is for you to get your act together and forget the heartless monster who broke your heart.

But you’re not just being melodramatic and imagining the pain, love sickness really exists, Tennov said.

She found symptoms of love sickness to include: depression, an inability to work, disorganization, suicidal carelessness or accidents, and an aching feeling in the chest. She found it true that people can really die from a “broken heart.” Tennov’s research found suicidal tendencies were the highest in limerent people in their teens to mid twenties.

Besides being misled and lured into a broken heart, limerence also has especially damaging effects on college women.

A study by Dorothy Holland and Margaret Eisenhart and presented in their book, “Educated in Romance: Women, Achievement and College Culture”, found the sooner in their college career most women “fall in love,” the lower their total life-long earnings will be because of a change in attitude that may lead to changing to an easier major, loosing motivation and dropping out of school.

“Peer culture for many women in college focuses on romance and marriage rather than career development. The academic culture should be giving female students the opposite message,” said Vallier. “Trying to live by two sets of values is paralyzing.”

Vallier said she agreed with the finding of Holland and Eisenhart.

“Once women fall in love they tend to loose academic focus,” Vallier said.

“Some people think you have to act on [limerence]. They don’t realize that you don’t have to. A partner is a luxury, and if you can’t live without a partner, you have some personal development that needs to be attended to,” she said.