I can feel it right now. Spring is coming and every student on campus is a hair’s breath away from breaking the shorts out to toss the bee around and sip from a few cans of happiness.

We’re all about ready to get the summer shades to scope the babes, or the dudes, depending on your preference (notice my column is free from sexism).

So what does spring, in your eyes, stand for?

Does it make up the “drunken times” of your life, or is it more?

Does it only stand for the time when all those with dumpy asses hit the gym to tone up for their summer softball league?

To me it means more.

To me it means baseball, and we all know baseball is God’s game.

I will first have to admit that I am an avid Cubs fan whose memorablia streches from the blanket on my bed to the pictures on my wall and the boxers I am currently sporting.

Now it’s been a while since I exercised my uncanny ability to read into the future, but it’s about that time.

Here we go. My final top five predictions for the spring of 1997.

First: The Cubs will start winning and never stop.

An undefeated season lies ahead for the Cubbies. It’s our year and this time we mean it.

Second: After the Cyclones win the NCAA tournament, the team will be renamed in correspondance with the renaming of the rest of the buildings at the university.

Consequently, everyone that attends Iowa State will have to bare the name Cleetus. It’s simple, equal and perfect. When asked about the changes, the man formerly known as Martin Jischke replies, “This is what it sounds like when doves cry.”

Third: The Cyclone baseball team will go on to win the College World Series.

First baseman Cleetus will lead the team in hitting with an average of .503, while third baseman Cleetus leads the team in homers with 33. “The thing about Cleetus is that while he’s not very big, he’s very shifty. The rest of the Cleetuses are pretty crafty too,” says ISU Head Baseball Coach Cleetus C. Cleetus.

Fourth: Troy Davis makes good on his promise to enter the National Football League and forego his senior season by releasing a statemment to the university that says, ” I would love to return for my senior season, but under no circumstances will I bare that name Cleetus. It’s ugly and makes me think of the south side of a festered skunk. Icky, I say. Icky!”

Fifth: Local Iowa State Daily columnist Chad Calek hangs up the pen to pursue a career in music while continuing his research on the on the perfection of the perfect blend of barely and hops.

“While Icehouse is king, I feel I have much more to offer. I realize the difficulty of my task, but one day we will all have the joy of the perfect drunk. I will move mountains! I will make a difference,” Calek says.

So in the meantime, enjoy the coming of spring and make the good love while thoughts of the muppets cloud your mind.

We’ll talk later.

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Chad Calek is a junior in journalism and mass communication. He is the sports editor of the Daily.