More outrage in the classroom

Robert Zeis

Now that school is back in full swing, no doubt you’ve become somewhat better acquainted with your instructors. You now know for the most part what their tests look like, and probably how tough a grader he/she is. For those of you who feel your teachers may be a little too harsh, I have a shocking reality check for you.

I was talking to a member of my house the other day when I noticed a syllabus pinned on the corkboard above his desk. It seemed out of place by itself, so I picked it up and read it. I was almost sorry I did. In it I read some of the most outrageous and appalling teaching styles I have ever seen.

For reasons of privacy, I will not mention the teacher’s name but I will say that this man teaches an English 105 class. To give you readers a sense of this instructor’s grandiose vision of himself, I will quote some of the passages:

“I am … sensitive to grade inflation. For this reason I do not give many grades above a ‘C.’ A ‘C’ is the grade that best reflects the quality of work the normal college freshman hands in. So if you hand in a paper that is good — the kind of paper that has nothing wrong with it, fulfills the requirements for the assignment, and satisfies me — and I give you a ‘C’ on that paper, don’t ask what was wrong with it. There is nothing wrong with a ‘C’ paper. A ‘C’ paper is what most everyone hands in. On the other hand, sometimes a paper comes in that just dazzles me. I can’t explain it, but it happens. Sometimes a student impresses me so that I will feel compelled to give that student a ‘B’ or an ‘A.’ It doesn’t happen often.

“I will go back and check the sources on many of your papers. … To save me library time, I ask that you have photocopies of all sources readily available for me … you should photocopy the passage that you use in any book or magazine. …”

“Papers must be exactly three pages long. The last word of the paper should come to the bottom of the third page. You may not play with the font. You may not jack with the margins. …”

Here is this instructor’s topic for the second class of the semester: “Everything your high school AP teacher taught you was bullshit.”

I am not making this up, but I wish I were. These are excerpts from the syllabus of an instructor here at lowa State. For those of you who recognize this format, you know to whom I am referring.

This has to be one of the most arrogant, self-centered teachers I have ever heard of at this school. Where does this person get the right to establish a grading scale based on his level of excitement? Since when does a student receive a “C” for meeting the required guidelines of an assignment. What exactly impresses this person? That’s certainly not something that can be measured accurately. Did I miss the “Impress the Teacher” section in the ISU Student Handbook?

Why should students photocopy their sources for the instructor? Why can’t this instructor find time in his day to check them himself? If this teacher doesn’t have any trust in his students, then why should he expect them to fulfill his time-intensive requirements?

Why must these papers be exactly three pages long? This is clearly one of the most asinine requirements in his curriculum. Good teachers realize that writing is not something that can be confined to a precise space. Good writing flows and may be longer or shorter than a required length. Writing is not something that can be cut or spliced like a piece of wire.

Though I am not a high school English teacher, I am still insulted by his choice of topics for his class. To deride the efforts of thousands of hard working people to satisfy his ego is outrageous and disgraceful. The AP programs at high schools across the country give many students a chance to expand their writing skills. Apparently this man wasn’t good enough to be in an AP class; at least that would explain his latent anger toward APEnglish teachers.

I am also troubled by the use of swear words in an academic environment. Students in English 105 are not learning how to write Mickey Spillane novels. These students are supposed to be learning proper writing skills, and approving the use of profanity in a basic English class (especially by the teacher!) only hinders their abilities.

Many of you are probably thinking, “Why should we be concerned with instructors’ teaching styles?” The answer is simple: When those styles cause students to be unfairly graded and prevent them from gaining understanding of a subject, that teacher does not belong in the classroom. Students should not have to submit to a pompous instructor’s conceited demands if those demands inhibit the learning process, which they in fact do.

Part of learning to be a teacher is being fair. Yes, there are requirements every student should meet. However when those requirements are met, sometimes through hard work and heavy toil, the student deserves a fair grade that reflects his/her accomplishment. A grade is not something to give out on the basis of excitement or titillation, but merit.

It is grossly unfair to judge fledgling students on criteria that wouldn’t even be required of a graduate student. Though their work may not be up to the lofty standards set by this man, it still may be very good based on the standards of their peers. A “C,” contrary to what this teacher says, is not a good grade. A “C” average in college will get you a job flipping burgers at McDonald’s.

Indeed, there are times when instructors should ask for more out of their students. However, when those extra needs are destructive to the learning process, they are unfair.

There are ways out of this particular class, however. This instructor says that he will be happy to sign a drop slip for students wanting to leave. Unfortunately the sections in English 105 are full almost the entire semester. Any student who has to find another section usually can’t, and is stuck with this know-it-all.

There is a lesson to be learned here. Though you may think what your teacher says is gospel, it isn’t. If you think an instructor in any class is placing undue pressures on you as a student, you have outlets to air your grievances. Use them. We have a right to demand the most for our education dollar, and those who are not cost effective (for the students) should be let go. It appears we need to shop around for another English teacher.


Robert Zeis is a senior in finance from Des Moines.