I remember when I first found out what gullible meant. I took it as a challenge to see how easily it could be defined by the actions of those around me.

Even back then, lying (or fibbing as I so called it) came naturally to me. After a few years of practice, I could get anyone to believe anything. I guess it was just one of those skills you don’t think about.

I could get people to believe that Kate Moss was my cousin (which wasn’t actually a lie because I really do have a cousin named Kate). I had my parents convinced that skateboarding was going to be an olympic sport. I even had my teachers convinced that I was actually the smart one in the family, but I just had a hard time “applying myself.”

My only failure to prove gullibility, was getting my brother to believe he was adopted, which I don’t think I ever accomplished.

I realized at a young age how gullible most of the people around me really were. Knowing this, I was able to be very much the opposite. This,however, changed last Tuesday night.

I was hard-at-work at the Metallica concert and excited to finally hear the only Metallica song I really knew the words to, “Enter Sandman.”

A couple minutes into the song, one of the large light towers on the smaller stage started swaying. Most of the roadies went to fix the tower when a pyrotechnic error caused a small section of the other stage to catch on fire.

Some different roadies rushed over to the fire to put it out and move the guitars out of the way. Everything was cool for a few minutes, until another huge light tower malfunctioned and started to move all over the place like the Terminator did when he was about to die.

The light tower nearly crashed down, but a thin safety wire held it about five feet from the stage. Two different stage-techs jumped onto the unit (huh, I said unit) and started freaking out, trying to get it unplugged.

Meanwhile, an all-pro roadie had climbed up the crashing tower number one to unplug it. When an explosion went of on stage, the roadie dude freaked out and somehow let go of the tower. As he swung through the air, looking as though he could fall and die at any moment, all hell broke loose on stage.

About six different fires started and one of the underneath roadies came sprinting out with flames covering him head to toe. Another dude came running down a nearby rope ladder and managed to get tangled up in it and fall head first onto the stage.

With a look of fear in their eyes, the guys in the band did what any rock star would do, split. Some medical guys came out to distinguish the flaming roadie (who had already stopped, dropped and rolled) and help him onto a stretcher.

As I watched the entire set fall apart, I began to fear losing my own life. Now, dying at a Local H show is one thing, but I’m not even a big Metallica fan. So I turned to the guy I was with and said, “let’s get the hell out of here.”

We made it to the top of the stairs and I glanced down at my watch to find it was only ten o’clock. “I can still get a story into tomorrow’s Daily. I can see the headline now: “Metallica roadie injured in freak accident.’ “

This was big time. This was my chance to get a story on the wire. This was my chance to win that scholarship I thought I won two years ago. I was going to be Mr. Breaking News story himself. Eat your heart out Tim Frerking.

On my way out, I would look at the ambulance to see what hospital it was from so I could call it when I got back. I would call one of my friends who was working at the concert and have him explain what it looked like from the floor.

And then, amidst my thoughts of a Pulitzer Prize-winning story, I heard the guy at the top of the stairs laughing. He was telling my friend that the entire thing was staged. “They do it every show,” he said.

“No! This can’t be true. It looked so real. No!”

And then it happened. I realized out of a crowd of 14,000 people, I was the only person completely freaking out. At that moment, I realized that I had just given the perfect definition of gullible.

Luckily, I have Vanilla to ease the embarrassment.

“I am very interested in the ladies. I started early, by kindergarten I had my first girlfriend.”

— Vanilla Ice on his Mac Daddy lifestyle

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Corey Moss is a sophomore in journalism and mass communication from Urbandale. His favorite Star Wars character is Princess Leia.